you need spf45, just to stay alive : to robert pattinson aka edward cullen

"wow. you certainly have a lot to say about how ugly the actors are. i agree with you that kristen stewart is a little masculine what with the voice and all but all round she did a good job. rob pattinson is gorgeous and nikki reed is so pretty! you know, instead of wasting your time typing up your annoying lies, you could have done something productive like, oh i don’t know, expanding your vocabulary? a lot of people put a lot of time and effort into this movie so the least you could do is say something even remotely nice about it!" -Rose

Oh, hello, Rose or maybe, Mrs Wanna-Be Cullen no #101.

Yes, we do have alot of things to say about awful actors like that. In fact, they ought to be fired for doing such a bad job. I'm impressed by the way you begin with the good news then move along to the bad ones.

I think Kristen Stewart did a shitty job as Bella Swan. What's with her muteness, huh? Or do you enjoy watching highly interesting movies like Wall-E and this??

Well, about "your" Robbie Pattinson or whatever nickname you're giving him like you're best friends with him, you are highly recommended to keep your thoughts to yourself. Do I look like I give a frigging hoot about how GORGEOUS he is? You can seriously have him all to yourself. Do you forget to tell me you're having not so nice* dreams about him? You can go ahead and marry him off in Vegas and have a private wedding all to yourself. I don't care. Gorgeous or not, he was constipating throughout the whole movie. By the way. He's kinda gay.

Cough, cough. I'm sure Nikki Reed is smoking, steaming, frying, cooking hot to you but like I said...? It's not my problem so keep them to yourself and your fans. I don't know what you people see in her. Look at her ugly crap piece of face. That ugly smirk on her face certainly spoils my look for Rosalie. Nikki doesn't even have a good figure. Look at her backside. She's not tall, slim or anything that looks PRETTY so, YEAH.

Ahem. LIES? It's the truth. We speak the truth, not your lies so don't point fingers at us, just because you can't get the whole world to fall in love with your "GORGEOUS ROB" or your "SO PRETTY NIKKI" and your "REMOTELY NICE TWILIGHT" because from our point of view,

it SUCKS.

And I don't think expanding vocabulary is part of the movie, is it? Or did I miss a part about how Twilight should expand their vocabulary? It's kinda true, y'know. They didn't speak much. So, uh huh. You're right about Twilight expanding their vocabulary, honey.

Time and effort? Riiiiight. I might put some Kid Rock lyrics here if it wasn't for me, being nice enough. The script is just so simple. All Bella had to do was grumble and all Edward had to do was hiss around. Same to the other characters.

Not to mention, Twilight has created MONSTERS like YOU who go around BITCHING around, trying to change our thoughts and hypnotizing people but sadly failing. That's why you type in rubbish like "wasting your time typing up your annoying lies". Meaning WHAT? Look at these OBSESSED PEOPLE you have created, Stephanie Meyer. Twilight is like a new type of GOD and RELIGION to all those screaming girls who are obsessed about Edward Cullen and want to marry him.

HAHAHAHA. "GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELF" - Timbaland