i need to find some peace
I really hope I do, next week! I didn't join some activity for sch%%l and I'm probably the only one. Oops! I can't say that I'm not afraid that I'll get called up. I am and that's a bad sign. I don't really care at some times, though. It's just some stupid activity but it's a must. Blah blah blah! Why should I join if I'm not gonna put in any effort or even go? Kick me out of sch**l, even better!!!
Everyone is a scaredy cat so they quickly join it but I didn't get to because of one thing. That really sucks. You know? I feel very left out. My fr13nds don't give a shiz and don't even try to help me do something about it even though I've mentioned it a few times and asked for their opinion. That's why I'm not made for sch@@l.
I'm really, really, really not made for sch^^l. I should've been a genius then I don't need to go through these stages of fr13ndsh1p and worries. I'm not good with fr!end5. Everywhere I sit.. it's all wrong. If I sit on the left, all heads will be turned to the right. On the right, heads will be turned to the left. Middle, heads turned either left or right. I've been through this and still going through. What the hell is wrong with me, don't fit in with anybody.
I see people chatting together and I feel like I'm a nobody. If I look down at myself, I would see a chair because I'm invisible. Haha. When they need help, it's a call for me. Nobody can have a normal, friendly conversation with me. Only for a while. It's not smooth like they have chat with others.
They also don't believe because they always double check with the t34ch3r. Would I lie? *inside joke*
In the morning, I feel like a pinball. Everyone bumps into me and I'm being bumped from left to right. They don't even have a mouth to say, "Excuse me." People stare at me like I have a koala on my back as my backpack. What's wrong with me? I wish I could just poke their eyeballs out.
Lying down on the floor out in the open is something great. I did that and it was so beautiful. I was staring up at pretty clouds, moving very slowly with birds flying up there. Yummy. I didn't know the sky could be so beautiful!! You should try it. Now I know why it's so romantic to lie on your back in the park. It really is, very romantic, in fact. Except two stupid idiot fictional characters called Edward Cullen and Bella Swan who lie on their backs but look at each other's faces. Wasted the beautiful view..
I also realised I hate Crackface very much. The proof is in me. When I see her face, a big wave of annoyance washes over me and I ignored her once because her face was so frigging annoying. I also get pissed when she starts laughing like a stupid g-4-y idiot. It's just so wu55y. She's a very secretive, two-faced, leech idiot. When she needs me, she sticks to me. When she wants to make me jealous by showing off her friends, she has a smirk pasted across her face. Yes, I can ditch her but I need some info for now..
Not to mention, I can't wait for tomorrow! Why? Because I'm praying hard that Newt will have his Takamine guitar there. Ooooh! Makes me wanna drool thinking of it. "It's so pretty," said Seb. Haha. Cute! Takamine guitars, old or not, are delicious! I really hope his wife is there because it raaawks. I wanna hear that yummy melodious sound coming out from that glorious soundhole while I strum the smooth and lovely metal strings and hope there are no dead strings.
How do you slant your fingers? I'm a true blue noob at that but I'm good about the other things like tuning.. blah blah. Maybe I should start writing songs like Chuck since I suck.
Putting myself down is a good thing. Why? Because when if I get better, I'll feel professional! Oops! The horn came out too loudly from that trumpet. Nah. I wouldn't be like that. I just hope I'll improve and seriously put in more effort like Dad said. I don't give a crap about practicing now..
Bad habit to fix.
Haha. I nearly fell asleep while writing this so I'll just end it here. Love, the school reject.
thought i, survive without you
I can't wait for the next guitar lesson because I'm hoping to see Newt's wife a.k.a the beautiful, beautiful Takamine guitar.
Hopefully.
Maybe. We've been practicing much more than last week and I think that's an improvement. At least I think so. But still, I have to admit that I feel kinda lazy.
I hope we learn something nice if we are brave enough to give Newt our CD of songs and hope that our faces won't burst into flames like Ghostrider.
I think we will.
Whatever. What do you think we should play? Taco seriously isn't agreeing to what I say and I'm not good at making decisions. Bleh! No idea. Any suggestions...
I love my Maroon 5 It Won't Be Soon Before Long album marathon.
I can listen to all their songs without getting bored because I love them all. I don't have Songs About Jane but never mind.
Speaking of Maroon 5, a few days ago, we were watching Wake Up Call. Everytime James appeared on the screen, we would scream, "JAMES!!!" because we were really bored so we decided to relax and let out a few shrieks. It was fun. He probably heard us.
It was just a very crazy idea to relieve stress.
2009 is the year many albums come out. Haha. Hopefully. Can't wait for Melee, Green Day, Backstreet Boys and etc..
BSB's gonna be great. I heard they're working with Lil Wayne and T-Pain and lots of rappers. Gooooood. More pop rock songs, please!
Ricky hasn't been updating lately. Melee's album is going good, I guess. They're working really hard.
The thing I wanna know is their album names and singles!
won’t go home without you
What happened today?
Today.
Um, apart from some sucky dinner which I will write in detail soon, everything was normal.
Guess who got herself a new Swiss made watch?
Yes, me.
Yippeedooda.
Cheez was horrified with the price and kept hissing that it was overly expensive. She got herself a digital watch which was not even close to the price of my watch. Heh. Oops. Sure, mine was around 700 but the other watch I was admiring a few months back cost 2k. KA-BOOM! goes Dad's wallet. Oops. And Swiss watches are well known for their quality and sturdiness so I thought it was a fair deal.
Mom, too, was slightly dazed but when I compared it to a few other cheaper but similar watches, the Swiss one was the apple of her eye.
Dad was willing to get me any watch I liked. I looked around and saw some pretty fancy ones which would have made amazing watches but the price was sky high and I'm not the kind of daughter who empties her dad's wallet and spends until his credit card breaks into half. Either that or the watches were waaay too fancy for school and I like where my wrist is so I don't wanna wear it then get my hand chopped off by some lowlife thief. Thank you very much.
I adore my new watch. It's plain but at the same time so elegant and pretty in a plain kind of way. The straps are black and leather (I think) while the face is so gorgeous. I call my watch "my wife" and wipe it when I think I have dirtied it. Smirk. Refer to Cheez's post below. And "my wife"'s name is Seb (maybe). Haha! Kinda gay but it's too long to say "my husband", so "wife" will do. It also has glow-in-the-dark hands and dots where the numbers should be. Fancy fancy. (: I love it. Thanks, Dad.
Okay.
Another thing!
I GOT TO CRADLE A TAKAMINE GUITAR IN MY ARMS TODAY. HOLYMOTHEROFSTEAMEDCODFISH! YES, I DID AND I LOVE IT!
SO SMOOTH. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO SHINY. SO WONDERFUL. SO YUMMY. SO EXCITING. SO AMAZING. THE SOUND IS SO BEAUTIFULLY MELLOW.
Oh my God. I'm in dire need of one now.
Seb, now I know how it feels to hold one. Even though, you're probably used to it and think it's just a guitar, I'm sure you must have had a time when you actually got to try out your dream guitar.
My spirit is rising by 150%!
Mmm..
But yuck to dinner at some seafood place. We I don't eat live seafood fished out from the tank in front of your eyes and thrown into a pot. The action itself spells: CRUEL. So yes. I had a hard time eating anything there. Even though, Mom said it was alright to eat it if someone else ordered it because you didn't ask for it, I still felt a pool of guilty at the bottom of my stomach. Throughout the whole dinner, all I had was one bit of crab, some fish paste fried in batter which turned out to be quite delicious, some vegetables, less than a spoonful of noodles.. and that's about it. All eaten with a bowl of rice.
Eww.
The journey to the place itself took almost a full hour and by that time, we were starving. It was located in some dingy place unknown to the city people like us so we felt kinda disgusted. There were stray dogs and weird characters about. Ew, total OMGWTF factor. I clutched Dad's arm and glued myself to him so that if any wild dogs went crazy, my dad would be in front of me to protect me. Hehe! No air-cond. Great. Just great. Expected though.
Whatever. So we ate. And came back kinda late because the older relatives wanted to chit chat. I finally caught Dad's eye and signaled to him that we wanted to go home.. badly. Second try earned us our ride home. Mwahaha. I'm such a daddy's girl most of the time. Which is good at times of emergency like that.
Heehee.
Okay. That's all from the Tacobellbell.
am i still dreaming or what?
OH MY GOD.
I USED A TAKAMINE F-349 TODAY!!!!!
It was like SO FRIGGING COOL AND NICE!!! It's my teacher's "wife". So he says that. And he also says that we're really lucky because we're the first ones using his guitar. Wow! I'm so flattered.
Today, the class was really great because me and Taco were squealing at the Takamine guitar. Though, it's not really the latest version, but still...!!!! It's a TAKAMINE. Here's what it looks like :

takamine f-349
Newt even told me that if I knocked his guitar, he would knock my head. Which I did. But he didn't knock my head.
He was like, "!!!!" when I accidentally hit it against my chair and wall. He kept rubbing the spot where I hitting it and making sure it was okay. Whoa. He must really love his 'wife'. I couldn't wipe that smirk off my face after that.
Yup. I'm really clumsy. I knocked our own guitar against the wall after that and he was like, "!" at me. When he was teaching us the chords for You're Beautiful, I was looking outside because some stupid kid was looking in with an annoying face. Newt was like, "Hey, look here!". Ooops! Not to mention, he asked if his guitar made a really good sound. I was so excited that I said, "YES", loud and clear. Haha.
"When I'm holding a Takamine~ I can't find the words to say." Twisted words from Island In The Sun.
Taco even suggested that we exchange guitars with him! Our plan was to put that Takamine into our guitar bag and run away! Hahahahah. I think he'll be so frigging sad. But we didn't. Sadly.
"We'll run away together ~ We'll spend some time forever ~ We'll never feel bad anymore."
It's so not psychological of us to think that it produces a clearer and louder sound than ours. It's not fake. It's real!!! And the strings are so smooth, delicate and nice to hold. The logo looks so delicious on the headstock. The colour looks okay. Much better than the colour of our first classical guitar.
We are learning to play You're Beautiful. Kinda hard. My strings are dead. As usual. I think I'll try to improve it but I can't. I'm too stupid. Duh. I know that myself. It's not the guitar. It's me.
Anyway, we're so in love with the guitar. We couldn't bear to leave it. I used it for a few minutes then Taco used it for the rest of the class. Bleh. Not fair. I admired it. I kept staring at it. It was so hypnotizing. I'm hoping to get a black one for my birthday.
Shhh!
I really wanted to start crying because it was just so beautiful to look at. If I got it as a present, I might even start crying. It's just too perfect for me. We were praising it throughout the whole class when Newt went out. I felt like crying. I don't know why. Haha.
Love today. Love today. (: Psst. I hope we get to use it next week.
cause if we ever find a way out of here
I am the pathetic-est person ever.
I wanted to cry while reading Cheez's post.
I know. Don't tell me I'm ridiculous.
But it's true. Nobody knows half the story.
If our walls could talk, a century wouldn't even be enough to finish telling their story.
Hah. Well, ADIOS Takamine.
I never put my hopes high. I always wait for the word: NO, not expect disappointment or wait till my dreams are crushed. Yes, call me sadistic or whatever but in here, nobody puts their hopes high.
Not that we don't lead perfectly normal lives... ahemahem.
Okay, nuff with that.
Sch**l is piling up so much stress on me even though no studies have started. I have no clue why but it's just crushing me into a tiny empty space. Even when I sleep, I don't dream because I'm too stressed out. You're probably going like, "What? Not even old lady also still stressed?!" But it's true. Some kids even kill themselves when they don't get what they expected in their exams. I wouldn't do that but it's close to ramming my head against the wall.
Sigh..
I'm drowning. God, help me outta this hell.
I will do my math. I will do my math. I will do my math. I will do my math. I will do my math. I'll kill myself while solving math problems. I will do my math and like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay...
Feel like sleeping more.
XXX
Much love from,
Taco
Um.. P.S: I have natural Alice Cullen hair! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BE JEALOUS! I DON'T NEED TO GO TO SOME SPECIAL HAIRSTYLIST OR GOOGLE IT. LAUGH OUT LOUD LOL!
P.S.S: And looks like I can't go for the partay. Whatever. Dinner sounds good too.
people who act retarded should be executed
How is my heart, little darling? You didn't meant to get so mad.
Yeah, right!
To your freaking shit face (not anyone here).
If you wanna throw our guitar away, GO AHEAD. Makes everything easier for us. Thank you very much. You have totally made us lose interest in playing the guitar.
You probably don't understand anything about school stress since you're not in the modern age anymore so you don't even understand at all. Just put yourself into our shoes and see how we feel. You would be complaining so don't make up all that BS that you never complained in your life.
If you wanna throw the guitar away, it's your choice. Really. I don't even care because I hate to admit this but I HATE PRACTICING. I think I've mentioned that before and you know it already so I'm not going into details again.
Why are you doing this to yourself? Getting yourself hated. Is that what you really want or are you acting retarded? I'm sorry but that's really the truth! You like getting on everyone's nerves and scolding everyone for unnecessary things.
You make me despise the thought of practicing the guitar and make me HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. You keep reminding us that we are putting in no effort. I mean, we ARE but shouldn't you be supporting us to keep us going? Isn't that what you want?? Do you really hate us like that?
If you're so impatient, then go learn it in a few WEEKS then. I seriously had enough of YOU too if you're so frigging annoyed with us. Idiot.
It's really your choice to throw that guitar away. You can even give it to your other favourite children since you love them so much. Ew. Seriously, I HATE spoilt children. So you can go and pamper them all you want.
Not learning songs?
ASK MY TEACHER THEN. WE'RE LEARNING BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE ARE PLAYING MUSIC. IT MIGHT NOT BE MUSIC TO YOUR EARS BUT IT IS IN THE GUITAR WORLD YOU'RE NOT IN. YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND ANY THEORIES OR WHATEVER. IT'S JUST THE SAME AS TELLING US THAT WE DON'T STUDY. HAVE YOU HEARD OR SEEN US? YOU ONLY COME BACK AT THE WRONG TIME SO too bad BUSTER.
You're not only making us hate playing the guitar. It's making us hate YOU. YOU are crushing my dreams. YOU are putting us down. YOU are telling us how shitty we are. YOU are the complaining one. YOU are the one without patience. YOU are the smarty pants. YOU are everything that's RIGHT but not WRONG.
Everyone makes mistakes but you make it sound like you don't. You don't care about how much time we need to accept the fact that we're going to school. Do you care about all these things? Do you even know what's happening? Asking us now is a bit too late so you better keep the questions all for your "lovely favourite children".
You praise others but do you praise US? No. It's like we're not connected or anything. You don't even understand a thing about how we feel and how everything is developing. You don't know we are practicing hard so that we can be the musicians of this place. You don't wanna hear sweet music coming from our house, THAT'S FINE.
I'm proud to admit that I'm forgetting about that acoustic black Takamine guitar in that shop? You know that? Why? Because I really knew it from the VERY START. I made a mistake of joining guitar lessons and I made a big mistake of falling in love with that pretty guitar that my favourite musicians have which I will never ever get it. I already knew it. See? I'm not so stupid.
I knew, the chances of getting that guitar was 0%, seeing how much support everyone is giving us. I told myself everyday, "Keep dreaming on," whenever you put us down. So I did. I'm only 10% away from getting that but it's dropped and that's the fact. I'm admitting that I'm accepting it.
Wanna drop us out from that class?
Fine with me. But I don't know if you can take that when your heart shatters when everyone is boasting about children playing the guitar and giving advice that a child should learn how to play an instrument because it relaxes the soul and comforts every environmental thing. You'll be thumping your chest as hard as you can, banging your fists on the door, making a hole on a chair, whatever but all I know is when that happens, I'll be rocking with laughter on a rocking chair while rock music is playing.
Oh yeah. You also don't have the right to scold other people who have nothing to do with this. You can't put the blame on them because you don't even know the full story. What if party one is disobeying party two? That wouldn't be fair to party two because you are pointing fingers here and there and saying abracadabra.
Apologies because I couldn't keep my promise. I can't be a musician anymore. I can't let my dreams come true and I'll have to choose a different path now. I'll be blinking jealously at people boasting about how they can play instruments. I guess I'll learn the hard way to shut my mouth and smile. If these walls could talk they would have so much to say. I'm sorry I won't be filling the house up with my favourite songs and everything.
It's something that you're born into and I just don't belong.
No, I don't
I'm just a no-class beat-down fool
And I will always be that way
I might as well enjoy my life and watch the stars play
AU REVOiR, DREAMS! *blows kisses*
you hate the way your life turned out to be
Hearing that we'll be quitting soon, I don't wanna be a dropout who just dropped out and ended everything. No. I feel determined to continue, lessons or not.
Back to reading stuff on guitar websites... I'm gonna regret doing this but maybe, just maybe, it'll work and knock some sense into my head. I have no idea if a miracle will just happen like that but I hope it will.
Why am I doing this?
Once we quit guitar lessons, we'll never be able to go back because the teacher might not be so nice to you. He'll probably ask you why you wanna join again and if you don't come up with an answer, he'll never let go. Yeah, so I guess that's why I'm doing this for the sake of not wasting money and wasting our time. I don't want to hate guitars for the rest of my life because I was a drop out.
Yes, maybe you don't care if you quit or not but I strongly disagree with dropping out then just leaving it there. What will the guitar do after that then? Sit around and rot? Get blamed for being such a stupid thing? Won't you miss it now and then? Even if you don't, just a little? Slowly, you'll think back and wish you didn't stop. You worked for something you wanted to do badly but not hard enough and you just quit like that?
I think I don't want that to happen to me. I'm still dreaming of that sleek and black, acoustic and rhythm Takamine guitar in Seb's hands and that Fender guitar with the delicious looking logo on the headstock. I'm still wondering when I'll be able to slide my hand up and down the guitar neck smoothly like Jeff and playing songs I love to listen to and me, making nice music with that acoustic guitar we have.
Is that what I really want until I don't want to let go or let it be another wasted effort?
Many people may find it easy to learn from the internet. No, I'm not them. I don't understand what the hell is going on and what everyone is trying to tell me. I'm planning to re-read them. I have to understand it or I'll get more pressure. I find this harder than studying, actually. There's so much research to do and so many things we have to learn to understand.
Well, if the teacher had put more effort, we would be continuing and playing songs like a genius. Isn't that why teachers are here? To help their students master what they want to do and grant their wishes? No. Newt isn't. He's here to pretend to teach us and get the money. I don't know what he's doing on Earth because all I know, he's acting like a grain of rice sitting there. He's not here to help his students or teach them something. He doesn't care if they have interests or anything because he's already gotten his wish. He can play the guitar anytime he wants while changing chords swiftly and play it while looking at the sky.
He starts the lesson late and ends it ten minutes before the right time. What does he really do in class? He asks us to practice whatever he taught us, the week before. He leaves the classroom and goes out to chat and laugh with his friends while we're inside playing the same thing over and over for twenty minutes. He comes back in to make sure we got it right then he continues to the next lesson. He teaches whatever it is until we get it. He asks us to practice the new thing and goes out. He comes back with a big puff of smoke which immediately stinks up the whole room, suffocating both of us. He corrects our mistakes and jeers at my fingers which aren't curling in the right way. Sometimes, he'll bring in his own guitar and show off his stupid skills while we're practicing. Yeah, we know you're so god damn smart already. He asks us to pack up because it's already time. We look at the clock and it's always five or ten minutes before the class even ends.
Don't even bother asking us to look for another teacher because there aren't any who will accept two students at a time. They say our levels are different. Right. That reminds me of art class last time. We were told to sit away from each other because we couldn't be sharing paint forever. When I heard that, the first word that came to my mind was - NO.
Sure, I hate practicing but that doesn't mean I don't like playing it. It just sickens me to think about practicing and all that stress everyone is putting on us. The world is getting heavier with all that. I like playing but I will like it even more if I can play songs. And yes, I know what everyone is gonna tell me after that. I know everyone is desperate for us to play songs but......
I don't even think I'll read all those stuff again since nobody really cares though I would love to play a song for you if I could. I don't think we'll let it go like that. Though, honestly, I don't think anyone gives a shiz.. it'll probably become another wasted effort. I think I'll just keep dreaming on.
Every day is the worst day ever.
it goes wuh-oh, right?
Cool. I made a mistake of logging out but I made it in! Perfectly.
I really wanted to post some pictures yesterday but the connection was really, really slow so I couldn't. I don't think I could now because it'll screw up everything.
Currently listening to Weezer's whole Make Believe album. It's all good.
I can't believe Call Of Duty is coming out with more sequels. I can't wait! Call Of Duty : Modern Warfare 2!!! I can wait forever. I'm thinking about playing CoD4 again because I miss playing it and I kinda forgot a little about it. I miss the shooting sounds.
Tomorrow, I really need to talk to some people. Ask them how they feel. Blah blah blah. Same old same. Exchange some crappy and useless news.
I have a confession to make now. I don't have a school bag. I totally forgot about it. I haven't cleaned my book shelves. New books will be replacing my old ones.
My feelings about that? "Zzzz."
Am I looking forwards to next year, 2009?
No. And yes.
Why no??
Because I totally hate school. I'm so not looking forwards to it. Stop of Weezer's whole album because Taco hates listening to Rivers dragging his words. I don't want to see my "friends". Like what I explained in the older post.
Why yes?
You. Don't. Need. To. Know. Joking. Er... I can't wait for SP's album. BSB's album. Green Day's album. Melee's album. One Republic's album. A.J.'s album. Mastering guitar skills. If that even happens. Hopefully get a Takamine.
I don't know. My brain is jammed. I forgot what I wanted to say but most of it is here. Ah! Playing CoD : Modern Warfare 2. Duh!
Anyways, I hope Ricky will update more often. SP too.
I'll post one or two posts later, maybe. When I feel like I have lots of time.
Ok, Chuck says, "chao" for now. Pierre says, "bye" for now. Seb says, "au revoir" for now. David, no idea. Jeff, "peace". That's what they say in their vlogs and videos. Peace out!













