A rare update

So… how long has it been since I’ve written a proper post that isn’t about KPop? The new year, I’m thinking.

Here are some things that have happened:

  1. Graduation. We did it. The slowpoke finally graduated. It was hard to watch my friends graduate a year or two ago but I’m happy with the way things turned out for me because college really is the best time to do a lot of things. Now that it’s over, it doesn’t feel read. It sure will feel real soon enough…
  2. Watercolor fun. We painted cards for friends over spring break and it was so much fun. I never knew how to use watercolor but I’ve discovered that they are so fun and easy to use. You can’t really go wrong with diluting watercolor and making random drawings. I’ll see if I find the guts to post a picture of a card I made.
  3. Kitchen adventures. Right now, I’m obsessed with the potato soup we made for the second time. It’s so chunky and luscious and I think it’s definitely healthier than those you get outside. We made too little and I keep wanting to make it again (with bacon but don’t tell anyone).
  4. Travel. We have been hitting up national and state parks and they have all been wonderful. These city gals have been soaking up a lot of nature time which is something we don’t get a lot of back home. The drives are long and tiring and sometimes kind of unnerving (no cars in front or behind you for miles?!) but worth it!!
  5. Post-graduation life decisions. Uhhh, don’t wanna talk about it.

What are you up to?

Raine
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

Everything you need to know about ASTRO

Wow, if you thought ASTRO was a boy group to overlook because of their bright and cutesy school-boy image, you have another think coming (I read too much Enid Blyton as a kid). Between Victon and Astro, I’m having a good time discovering their music. I mean, look at all my Astro cuties in this video below:

Hands down, this song is so good and their sharp dance moves and synchronization are mesmerizing! Their voices are better than I remember and if I’m fangirling, I’ll have to say that I can’t decide between Rocky and Eunwoo.

Again – Astro

I’m just going to throw in this lyric video. I like to see line distributions for some strange reason and this song seems to have some of the best line distributions. I can’t imagine them switching lines at all.

Voice to the New World (mini album) – Victon

Here’s Victon’s first mini album. My favorite tracks are 1, 2, 4, and 5.

Ready (2nd mini album) – Victon

And here’s the 2nd mini album. All the songs are good but my favorite is 3. I love the way Hanse starts the song.. actually I think he starts all the songs in this album?! Seungsik and Sejun as the two main vocalists complement each other so well. I can’t identify Subin’s voice so I hope they give him a few more lines.

So Good – Taeyang

This song by Taeyang was released today so I have to put it here. Taeyang killin’ it as always.

All these songs are right up my alley. Enjoy.

Raine
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

Victon

Alright, you saw my Tweet. Now watch the video if you haven’t. I had to share because this song is really good.

The dance is cute, too. So watch that, too.

This song started it for me.

I’m growing fond of this one.

My favorite is Seungsik because his voice <3. This post was brought to you by ‘5 minutes before making dinner and I need to make sure you know who Victon is’. I may come back in and add more. Or I might do a whole new post if I have time to go watch their interview videos…..

Raine
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

Really, really

Have you heard the new Winner songs? Because they are back and better than ever. I seriously love Winner so much. Kind of miss TaeHyun but it’s just going to be 4 of them and their comeback has proven that they still haven’t lost touch with their appeal.

I’m disappointed that they only came out with 2 songs in their new album Fate Number For but I’m quite sure they’ll be releasing more new music soon. I love that they made one fast song and a slow one. Their fashion concept for this comeback is not that great but who cares when their vocals are so good?

Now listen to it!! Okay, wait. Get this – they dance in this comeback!! So cute. If you have time, watch the dance practice, too.

XOXO,

A big Winner fan.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

Is it 2pm yet?

The story of how we came to listen to 2pm. It was an extremely windy weekend morning when we volunteering at an event and one of our friends had his phone plugged into his iHome speakers.

He was playing Korean songs… There was Taeyang, Big Bang, GOT7, BTS, all the big names.

And then there was a catchy song with ‘da da da da da’. I leaned forward and asked him over the roaring of the wind, “What song is this?”

“Wooyoung!” he shouted back even though we were 5 feet apart.

“What?!”

“Wooyoung.”

Nope, never heard of him.

“Rose. Rose.”

“Um..” I heard ‘roast’. What kind of song is called ‘roast’? Pork roast or pot roast? LOL.

“2pm!”

Finally, a name I recognized. I nodded back.

Came back, googled Wooyoung, and voila!

We like this song. A lot.

Also 2pm’s I’ll Be and My House. That’s what we’ve been listening to. And Never Ever by GOT7 because we all need a dash of Jinyoung, a pinch of JaeBum and a sprinkle of Jackson in our lives haha. You?

Raine
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

And then

After one year, I went to the free and anonymous anxiety screening session to find out if I really have anxiety or not.

Long story short, it was a completely useless event. An online search for anxiety survey would have saved me a trip if I had known that it would be nothing more than checking a few boxes with extremely broad questions and having a trainee psychologist stare at me in silence after asking me what I wanted to do.

The moment I sat down, she said, ‘hmm looks like your scores were low… you have some anxiety… so what do you want to do?’ And stared at me from behind her false eyelashes with a stupid condescending smile.

(Thank you, Captain Obvious, for stating that I have SOME anxiety. I could have told myself that too.)

And I’m like, ???????? She’s asking me?????

She continued, ‘There is individual counseling and then there’s group counseling. Which are you thinking of?’

(How the fudge am I supposed to choose when you have given me NO information. And do I have anxiety? What kind? Can I tell you my problems? Is that not what you are here for?)

She kept suggesting that I attend group counseling and when I asked her how I could do that, she said I could just call in.

If she bothered talking to me a while longer, she would know that I have social anxiety when it comes to phone calls. I avoid phone calls as much as I can.

‘Do you have any questions for me?’ she asked, not looking interested in answering any that I potentially had.

I asked her what types of anxiety there are, hoping the conversation would go somewhere.

Her reply: ‘social, phobia, general…’

No discussion of my scores, no ‘how are you doing’, or ‘what’s been on your mind lately’ or even the slightest comfort in any way. She was NOT warm, NOT welcoming, and certainly NOT helpful.

So that was messed up and I left, feeling shocked that those people can even be allowed to be psychologists or counselors. I have spoken to teachers, friends, and strangers who have offered me way better words of wisdom and comfort. I am concerned for the people who have larger mental health issues that saw those ‘counselors’ today.

But even though those people didn’t have anything to offer me, I kind of stumbled upon the kind of anxiety I might have. High functioning anxiety, is what it’s called. I don’t know how valid it is but I read several articles on it and I could relate to almost everything they said about high functioning anxiety (HFA).

At first, I doubted it because I looked at the statement about how people with HFA sometimes feel the need to leave a room full of people immediately without reason. I thought, I don’t do that. I don’t know who I was trying to kid but it suddenly hit me today that I certainly do that. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been at a social event and suddenly I turn to my sister (or myself if I’m there alone) and say, oh God, I want to leave right now. I need to leave right now. Can I leave now? And I would sometimes even feel sick.

I had no idea it was even a thing. I thought I was being over-the-top. I am type A, I always need to ‘go, go, go’, I don’t catch a break, I stretch myself so thin by taking on everything (omg this), I compartmentalize my emotions to the point of thinking that I’m fake with people because I can’t show my real self because people will hate me if I show them my real self, I always think I’m not good enough and not doing enough and letting people down.

This is me. Now I get it.

I have no real ending to this post but somehow knowing that there are people out there are feeling the same way I do makes me feel slightly better. And also, I guess after meeting such cold and unhelpful counselors. it makes me want to be the person people can come to, can feel safe around, can feel vulnerable around without feeling judged.

Please be kind.

Raine
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

Something good

This week, I have had several moments. Some bad, some very bad, and some good. When I say very bad, I mean, having at least three moments while walking across campus, feeling extremely exhausted and defeated to the point of wanting to just stop and collapse to the floor. I literally thought, what’s the point of going any further? And wanted to just sink onto the ground and not move. The waterworks might also have turned on in the library twice this week but nobody can confirm that, can they?

I don’t want to talk about the ‘very bad’ today though. I actually want to talk about the bad which turned out to be good in some ways.

I had a phone interview this week for something I applied for (not a job) and it was my first ever phone interview, I believe. And I was calm about the whole thing until the person called. Then I was a word-spluttering tornado who sounded really disorganized even though I had a lot of important stuff to say. The point is, I likely totally bombed that interview. Which sucks, because it would have been nice to not have done that but what’s done is done.

But what I realized after the phone call and in the midst of trying not to replay the conversation over and over in my head to scrutinize (duh) is that I really enjoy talking about what I was interviewed on and I am passionate about that interest. And that solidified yet another layer in my ‘I want to be a teacher’ block.

I want to teach. I want to spread the word, shed light on important things that people should care about, share my knowledge, interact with others, discuss ideas and action plans, help them, help myself.

I spent the next morning in class, coming up with lesson plans on how to teach kids about my topic of interest. And I was shocked at myself because I always told myself that I won’t make a good school teacher. And well, okay, maybe I started decorating my dream office with cool stuff in my head.

This experience has taken me one step closer to realizing my true career goal which is to be a teacher. For that, I’m happy. Maybe I won’t become a conventional school teacher. I just know I want to teach in some way.

Also, I realized that I’m a horrible public speaker. But I try and that’s what matters.

Raine
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail