Happy New Year again!
I'm late. Yes, I know.
Sorry about that. A new year means new things to plan and organize. Been slightly busy with this and that but I'm here now. To blog... about New Year's day and whatnot.
First off,
May this year bring you joy, happiness, wealth, prosperity, good health, whatever whatever. All good things, that is. It's time to step out of 2009 and in to 2010. However crappy 2010 may turn out to be, remember that there's always next year. And by the way, I strongly disapprove of the people who keep insisting that the world will end in 2012. If it ends in 2012, so be it. Stop depressing everyone by saying that we'll be gone in 2 years time.
Anyways, 2010, here I come. The first two days of this new year have already proved to be... quite normal. I don't think I'll be saying that next week. I'll probably be busy, busy, busy but fear not, for I shall not forget thee, dear blog. Har har. Shakespeare, I am not. Forget my pathetic attempt at talking medieval language.
I don't have many resolutions this year but I found this and thought it summed up a few of my plans:
Yes. And to add to the list:
- Smile more.
- Try not to curse and swear too much.
- Try to actually finish my assignments on time.
- Give my dog more attention so that he won't be so deprived and won't feel the need to run away like a silly mutt. Okay, that was unkind. I take that back...
- Tolerate more nonsense from people I hate dislike.
- Uh... do something useful with my life.
- Try not to wish for the year to end quickly seeing as it's hardly been two days since the new year.
- Complain less.
And yeah, that about sums up what I plan to do this year.
What do you plan to do?
We watched the fireworks display from the usual rooftop this year and it was amazing though I don't think it was anything great compared to all the other ones I saw on CNN. LOL. The grass on the other side always looks greener, I guess.
This is not the real picture. I just nipped it from Bing images.
And... apart from New Year's day, nothing much has been going on. Same old, same old.
I've been invited to a friend's birthday barbecue party. I'm wondering if I should go. I feel awkward at social events. I mean, I'm not unsociable... I just don't fit in because I'm not like everybody else. And I hate buying birthday presents for people because it's a hassle. I must sound pretty mean but seriously though, birthday parties and buying birthday presents are not fun things to do.
Oh, by the way,
I went grocery shopping with my mom on New Year's Eve.
School's gonna suck. Oh well. Nothing new there.
That's probably it from me today or is it tomorrow already? Ah well.
Love and peace, T.
stop pretending that what you mean isn’t what you say
Back in my younger schooling days, I had an OCD which annoyed the heck out of me and some of my teachers. I don't know why or when it started but one day I decided to color my Es. You know when you write the small letter 'e' you have the hole? Yeah.. I used to fill the hole with color. If I didn't, I would feel the need to color it. My teachers would scowl at the black little 'e's and tell me not to do that. My friends would just give me the you've-got-to-be-kidding look but they wouldn't say a word about it.
I even drew an example.
Then I got over it. And became OCD about something else. When I was 11, I had this teacher who wrote her Es like this.
She wrote it with a straight line under the curve. I hated that. I used to get so OCD, I would even get out of my chair halfway to try to erase it and change it. Ha ha. I know. But of course I didn't. She would've thought I was nuts or something. I like my 'e's rounded and cute. Hers just looked so wrong to me. Sometimes after class, I would go up to the board and erase it. That's how OCD I was.
This OCD post has got nothing to do with anything but everything to do with a video I watched today.
Just sayin'.
x
call your professor if there’s something you missed
1. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Why does it always start with this? STRAWBERRY.
2. Cable or Satellite?
Cable AND satellite.
3. Favorite video game?
I can't remember the title but it's a really cute game where you save chicks or something. And by chicks, I don't mean girls. I mean baby chickens.
4. Do you have to sleep with a fan on at night?
Yes.
5. Your feelings on global warming?
I am utterly powerless and I wish I could do something about it. *Hint: Those who do have the power and time and money, do something!
6. Do you still have a VCR somewhere?
I believe so.
7. Been on a sailboat?
Like the one in George Michael's Careless Whisper video? Nope.
8. Two of your best friends are fighting. Your reaction?
Whatever. Why would I get involved?
10. Beer or Hard Liquor?
ABUSIVE STUFF = B.A.D.
11. Best movie you’ve seen recently?
I can't say.. I haven't watched a decent movie in ages.
12. Would you walk across broken glass for $100?
Eee, no.
13. Your feelings on dolphins?
DON'T EAT THEM!
14. Would you ever rob a bank?
If I were a Jumper, maybe.
15. Do you plan out your day before it begins?
No. What fun is that?
16. What kind of digital camera do you have?
The kind that most people have. What do you have?
17. Can you fall asleep with your eyes open?
I tried. I couldn't. It's HARD.
18. Winter or Summer?
Hot or cold? Hot AND cold.
19. Your ex’s car breaks down and they ask you for a lift. Your response?
Grab a friend and give him a lift. NO funny business. >:|
20. Your feelings on Britney?
Better than Miley!
21. Do you go to the gym regularly?
I guess you could say so.
22. Ever play with model trains?
YES!
23. You’ve just bought a new house. What color will you paint the walls in the living room?
Mellow yellow.
24. Best subject in school?
Anything that doesn't have to do with numbers or science. LANGUAGE!
25. What are your goals for this year?
Be happy.
26. Do you spread false rumors about people just for the hell of it?
WTF? That's not me, that's my friends.
27. Do you consider yourself religious?
For the most part, yes.
28. Internet Explorer or Firefox?
Firefox.
31. Describe the first house you lived in.
HA.HA.HA. No, I simply won't.
32. Do you want to kick someone in the face right now?
Yes, very much. How did you know?
33. Favorite sport to watch?
Golf, what else? Don't tell anyone that I used to have a crush on Sergio Garcia. HAHA.
34. You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction?
Let them be. They must be, like, really stressed or something.
35. How much syrup do you put on your waffles and/or pancakes for breakfast?
Tons.
36. Favorite junk food?
Banana fritters. Actually, I like potato chips better.
37. Bottled water. Yes or no?
Why not?
39. Are the files in your computer well organized or all over the place?
Organized.
40. Are there dogs barking in your neighborhood right now?
Only the one downstairs.
41. Where would you most like to be right now?
On holiday.
42. Do you own a sleeping bag?
Yes. It's uber cute.
45. What was the first CD you ever bought?
I have no idea either.
46. Are all infomercials completely pointless?
Almost all. I watched a really dumb one the other day.
48. If money was no object, what car would you drive?
A huge monster truck or a super cute VW.
49. Last 5 played songs in your Itunes playlist?
I hate Mac, I hate Apple. Windows FTW.
Moving on..
When's the last time you ran?
Yesterday. Felt so proud of myself. *tears*
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
No. I'm preppy.
What are you dreading right now?
*****. Hah. I would like to curse and swear now but I'll hold it in.
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
Sometimes.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do?
Pretend that I'm not home. After all, it's my home. Unless they called to tell me that they would be over.
Have you ever been on your school's track team?
I kinda hate sports. So yeah.
Did you copy and paste this survey?
OH NO, I TYPED IT WORD BY WORD AND I'M PRACTICALLY DROOLING SARCASM. Who'd be dumb enough to type it all out?
Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I've tried. It tastes like nothing. Don't try it.
Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
I'm not a vandal.
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over?
YES.
How do you eat Oreos?
Without the cream. I hate the cream. I love crushing it into vanilla ice cream too.
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
Yes. And it wasn't even worth the wait. How foolish!
Could you live without a computer?
If I were born before the technology era, MAYBE.
Do you wear your shoes in the house?
No, it's dirty. Imagine dog poop and vomit all over your floors and bed. HAHAHAHHAA.
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
Unfortunately, I believe that Santa came down our chimney last year. So I still have faith in Santa. 
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
Enough.
What do you do when you're sad?
CRY. I think.
Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
My mom.
Last time you saw your best friend?
Last last week.
What jewelry are you wearing?
My bejeweled headphones. NOT. GOTCHA!
Is anyone on your bad side now?
How do most people spell your name?
Wrongly!
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
I don't think so.
When was the last time you left your house?
Yesterday.
Do you return your cart?
NEVER!!!!!!! Ok, I do.
What noise do you hear?
I hear music. Believe by The All American Rejects.
Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
No.
What's the last thing you purchased?
A dog bone for the dog.
What brand are your pants right now?
Brand-less goods.
Ever been to Georgia (the state)?
It's FLOODING there. Hope everyone is safe. I feel for you. :[
What irritates you most on the internet?
GAMBLING and those pg18 stuff.
What brand is your digital camera?
A sensible brand.
Do you watch movies with your parents?
Sure.
What song best describes your life right now?
I'm Just A Kid by Simple Plan.
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?
MMM, BURBERRY. DIOR. CHANEL. J.LO...
Do you like sushi?
Yes.
Do you go online everyday?
99%.
x
the first one is the worst one when it comes to a broken heart
I've been thinking.
About them. About how we're going to ambush them. About how we're going to stalk their hotel.
And I've been getting head rushes just thinking about Nick. I know I'm a little nutty. But I'm one to believe in fairy tales and magical stories and I guess I just believe strongly. And I believe that I will see Nick up close one day be it when he's 60 and no longer in the band or within the next few months. Either way I will.
OMG, I've been dreaming about getting their posters and putting it up beside my other posters. Rad dreams. Hope they come true. Fingers crossed all the way.
I have not been distracted by them. Believe me, it's other things that's making my head spin.
I would drop out of school to jam in garages but that's not how things work here. I would gladly take loooong field trips to wherever instead of studying. I swear, we learn so much more when we're not trapped in school. What exactly do you learn in school? You don't learn any people skills nor ways to console people nor ways to deal with death nor ways to just believe. All you do is study and take exams. Is that what life is really about? I don't really think so. You might think differently and I don't blame you but I'm really not one to be restricted by school rules or just about any rule. Not saying that I'd break the law but seriously if there were no laws in this world, I'd throw a few good punches at some who just deserve it. Still, I don't think any religion would approve of such barbaric behavior.
I will always struggle to understand because I feel the need to know why. I think WHY is the most important question everyone should ask themselves once in a while. Most people wonder WHY out loud. Can't you think before you ask? It gets annoying when you find out that those people haven't bothered to think of a reason before asking. Sometimes, just step back and ask yourself questions. Take time to renew yourself (not quoting Kanye or anything) so that you change with the time.
I know most of the time it's really difficult for people to change their ways. Take my dad for example. He doesn't understand some things like why me and C want to go to concerts and such. Unlike my mom who has always been a sport. She gets it. She gets why sometimes I refuse to do things and why sometimes I feel this or that way. And she even accepts the music that we listen to now (we might have had something to do with convincing her but still..) and is willing to just have a good time with us when our favorite bands come to town. She's even going, "I used to be love drunk but now I'm hungover.." because the radio has been playing Love Drunk frequently. My friends' moms are sorta uncool because they're so rigid. Dude, things are changing, you gotta tweak a lil bit. No one is asking you to wear tight ass jeans or Chris Brown hats and go, "Yo, daaawg, what up, what happenin'?"
Right? Do I make sense?
And I've been thinking of going on a strike. A strike to just flunk all my exams. WHY? Because exams (written ones) are basically papers you sit for and have to do good in so that you can show the whole wide world that you're not stupid. Well, I think that it's stupid. I think it's rubbish to compare results. Don't you take exams to see how far you understand your lessons? Don't you take exams for your own sake not others? Don't you take exams and do the best you can? Because I DO. If so, then why do people cheat just to be better than their friends? Why do people look down on others who don't do well? Why do people expect you to be smart? What if you just don't get that subject? What if you give your best and it's not enough?
I don't want to and never compare with people because we don't share brains. We all have different subjects and fields we excel in. We can't all be good at everything. We're not superhuman. I am not superhuman. People make mistakes. People forget. People panic. People have faults. I make mistakes. I forget. I panic. I have my faults. And why am I to be blamed for these common human mistakes? I'm not God. I'm not perfect. Practice makes perfect is about the lamest line I ever heard. I quote my mom, "Perfection cannot be achieved." NO ONE is perfect. Name one perfect person.
I am who I am and much as people choose to not to believe, I do try my best. I have a guilty conscience which always bites me in the rear when I don't give it my all. During my exams, even when I panic and I can't remember and I'm practically empty in the head, I feel guilty. I feel this need in me to remember something. To write something down even if I don't get it correct. I never leave a blank if I can help it.
I know everyone is always struggling to be the best in everything to compete with their friends to show the world what they can do even if it involves cheating. They're scared to be bad in something. And people never take time off to relax. They're constantly buried in books and I'm not talking about story books. I'm talking about books which contain all the information you're required to remember then spit out during the exams. My friends are panicking and talking about cheat sheets and how they want to be better than someone else. I want to be better (who doesn't want to be?) but I refuse to cheat. I refuse to take part in any idiotic thing that will boost me up just so that I can shove it in my friends' faces and go, "THERE! I'm a SMARTY PANTS and YOU'RE NOT. TAKE THAT! Nanananabooboo."
Then if I don't get what is expected by others, they scold me, lecture me, ask me why I can't be better than my friends, laugh at me, look down on me and God knows what else. All of the above irritate me to no end. I gave it my all and this is what I get in return. An unjust accusation. Unless I really didn't give it my best shot, I will not accept any of those pointed accusations. And I don't even get a chance to explain myself. Even if I do, I'd just end up in tears. Why? Because I can't pick a fight without dissolving into a weak and useless puddle of tears.
Anyways, to my mom, I won't flunk all my exams unless you say that I can. But I still want to do something rebellious that will make history among my prim and proper friends who feel like they will die if they don't excel in a subject.
AND I DON'T TAKE BRIBERY. My parents do not pay me to do well in exams. Even if they did, I wouldn't give a hoot about the reward. I hate expectations.
About what C said about her friend following the herd. I think it's true and I'm really proud of C for having such positive thoughts about it. People, please stop being a follower (except for religion). Start leading. Copying people will lead you to nowhere except someone's ass. Which by the way means kissing ass and that's what a lot of people are doing now. That is a low thing to do and I don't know why anyone likes following.
Why can't people just be themselves? I know a lot of my friends are fakes. They do things just to be cool and to be noticed. Me? I don't do any of that. I am just me which is probably why I don't have a clique. I just go with whoever happens to be there. I don't need my friends to tell me I look good to feel good. I don't need my friends to feel like a cool person. I don't need my friends to hang around me just so that I feel like I'm in their gang. I can do my own thing without having to tag along to someone. I can study alone, eat alone, walk alone, talk to the teacher alone and just about anything else.
Where did all the leaders in the world come from then? Did they follow people till they reached the top or did they do it by themselves or did they step on other people's head or did they have their own ideas and just did what they thought was right? It all depends sometimes, I guess.
And I'm not writing this to enlighten anyone or make them change their minds about anything. It's just my thoughts.
Listening to: 21 Guns by Green Day.
Well, I'm off now. I hit my ideal word count.
Wow. Word count: 1538.
x
things cannot stay the same
And I've neglected our blog for approximately... TWO days.
I have no idea why I am blogging now. Should I be blogging at this hour? I don't know but what I do know is.. I kinda, sorta, maybe, probably, possibly, most definitely dislike my old friend.
I meant to use the word HATE but people think that I'm being too harsh and I'm a hater but when I use hate (unless I capitalize it), I really don't mean HATE. It's just an extreme...
Anyhoo, when we were seven till eleven and in the same school, she was reaaaaally quiet. I tell you, like in a talk-to-her-but-won't-get-any-response way. And I sooooooo hate those kind of people who just won't drag their mouths open to utter a single word. She was too quiet. Like so weird! How can anyone possibly be thaaaaaat quiet? It's like she's got issues, man.
And today when I browsed through other people's blogs, I found hers.
And my, my, my has she let her true colors show. Now she's like talking real big, using big words, using big phrases, using 'cool' phrases and basically being someone that she wasn't. I mean, yeah, Brad Paisley did sing something about people being so much 'cooler' online and I have to agree with that but um, she's like sooooo different. I don't think anyone could change thaaaaat much. She's talking like no one shut the trap, you know.
And that somehow gets to me. I don't think you'd understand and you're probably going, So?? but it's difficult to explain. You don't know her and I'm not sure you'd feel the same way as I do even if you did know her but hey, whatever. No two people are the same.
All my friends from elementary school have become rabid monstahs! It's like THE ATTACK OF THE I'M SO COOL AND YOU'RE NOT thing. Hmm.. maybe I could make a movie based on them.
I mean, seriously, I have always been the way I am today - frank and too nice to the world and lazy and always leaning a little towards the talkative side and dreamy and blindly optimistic and whatever. I'm just me and I've always been me.
Why can't people just be themselves? Why does everyone have to be 'cool' to be each other's friends? Why can't we all just be nice? Why can't we all make peace and love ourselves? Why am I always being so nice to people who don't appreciate my niceness? Why do they give me that look which I understand fully? It's the you're-so-lame look which doesn't mean anything to me because they never even got the time to be friends with me. Your loss.
Oh well. Be the change in the world you want to see, says Mahatma Gandhi. So wise, yet everyone is so blind to this fact.
By the way, I have noticed that my style of writing matures with my age. So ecstatic about that fact though I have no idea why. I used to think that I write immaturely and naively and poorly (even though I write a lot). I criticize myself when I write. I keep thinking that I haven't perfected anything. Do you do that?
Okay, I'm out.
500 words and still, I'm not happy.
Will find a day to reach 1500.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tongue tied and twisted.
xxx
and the best is, no one knows who you are
So I sit there, paying full attention to what she's saying.
For the first ten minutes.
I really do pay attention. I do. I only tend to slip away into my own daydream while nodding my head to everything she says as if I'm listening. Then I jolt out of my daydream and give my devoted attention to her.
For another ten more minutes.
Then I go into my own world of flashbacks, memories, daydreams and miscellaneous thoughts.
And all these thoughts actually unravel from something that she's saying.
She speaking numbers but somehow I connect her numbers to thoughts and the thoughts all just unwind themselves from my brain. Sometimes I dream so far, I can't even remember how I got there in the first place.
I can't help it. I guess I just live in a Happily Ever After or maybe a Happily Never After. I don't know. I just dream and I like daydreaming. It's a productive pastime which costs nothing except your imagination. Some are pleasant, others sour, a few forgettable ones.
Then she looks at me. I'm still nodding, my lips slightly parted. I look like I'm getting it. Truth be told, I'm not there.
"Do you understand?"
I blink. Um, what? Is she talking to me? God, I hope she doesn't ask me to do a question because I barely heard a word that she said. I nod again, alert now. Her eyes bore into mine. I hold her gaze for only so long so as to not appear as defiant. Then I turn to the book and its pages filled with numerous numbers and few alphabets.
I sneak a glance at the board to see where we are. Oh. There. I skim through the examples and I find that I actually understand what's going on even though I have just spent too much time than necessary in my wonderland. I silently thank (God? Myself? The teacher?). I don't know. Who should I thank?
I focus, my ears and eyes and brain peeled. But no matter what I do, she gives me that 'you flunked' stare which makes me feel so, so, so guilt-ridden and hopeless. I actually thought that I was doing it all right but in the end I screwed up. She doesn't believe in me. Not since the second time. How can I trust myself if you don't believe in me? It doesn't matter anymore though.
She moves at an incredibly fast pace, a wait-for-nobody type of person. I struggle to catch up and I manage to at the end of the day. Slower than others but never too late. I'm not being a pessimist but I just don't do numbers. The other day, my brain was burning by the end of the lesson. I felt almost crazy. My brain felt like a racing car tire after too many laps around the racing track - burnt to an indistinguishable piece of rubber.
"I'm sure you're all going to further your studies in mathematics."
Um, no. Actually, I do not intend to do such a thing as I have no interest in math except for just passing the exams with flyable colors. I wonder why I even chose this path. It's not what I want. It's just not me. But do I have a choice? People always say, you have a choice. I see none now. I don't feel dictated neither do I feel other options nearby.
"Class, you really shouldn't copy your friends' homework."
I hear her scoff and think to myself, What? So obvious. It's not like you're perfect or anything. You've lied to everyone but you can't lie to me. I'm not as dumb or naive as she thinks. I just don't let them see my true personality. They all think that I'm a nerdy and oblivious tool. Congratulations, you now know nothing. And I hope you never learn my true identity. I am not a spy, sorry to disappoint you.
"Now why don't you try question..."
I pick up my pencil and stare at the question while she's hovering in front of my desk. Unnerving. I flinch, hoping she'll go away. I tap my pencil against the empty page wondering why the very presence of her instills fear in me and why my brain doesn't seem to function when she's staring. I scribble out the question, hoping that that'll satisfy her. I glance at the example on the board and try to work it out while trying not to look like a fool.
I always manage to look foolish. After a moment of staring down at me (or so I think), she turns and walks away. Maybe she's exasperated, maybe she's going in her mind, I knew she couldn't. I don't know. I never have the guts to look at her. Maybe I'm a coward but I don't give up that easily.
I look to my right.
"I don't get it. Help me?"
She smiles, always ready to help me even when she says she won't. On most days, I am grateful that I ever got to know her. She asks me what I don't understand and I point it out. She makes it so simple and I find that I understand her explanation more than hers. I shoot her a grin then thank her.
The lesson ends. I sweep everything into my bag and bolt, anxious to get home.
That about sums up half a lesson.
xxx
How can I change the world? 'Cause I sure can't change your mind? Where's the miracle I need now?
I have been singing Westlife songs since I can remember. I used to sing them without knowing the meaning of the song. Now I do and they make me feel so good, you know. It just gives you that complete feeling that you know something that you once didn't. Better late than never.
She could lick her lips and smile and make you wanna believe that the consequences of your actions...
The Backstreet Boys' songs have never felt so whole.
Oh, chariot, your golden waves are walking down upon this face.
Gavin DeGraw who has sometimes one of the most annoying voices but sometimes one of the nicest voices. You choose. Either way he has lovely melodies going on in those songs.
Na na na na na na na.
Vanessa Carlton - Spring Street. (:
xxx
Your pitying act is most disgusting. You're acting as if you're five and need your mommy and daddy to back you up. Spoiled children. And those who need to cling on to friends. Insecurity about sums you up.
xxx
Love,
T. (:
I spent an hour and a half on this. NO WAY.
i don’t know what you heard about me
Who's up for a nice story?
A nice long one which will need your full attention and you will need a full cup of coffee.
Kick start.
Way to go. I woke up this morning, got dressed, blah dee blah, usual crap before sc*ool. Wanted to skip today because of what we have been doing recently at sch - enjoying more than four empty periods. Score for the teachers. Thanks for making life so useless before the exams. We appreciate that you're doing your job.
Then bam! something hit me in the stomach like a brick. Stomach ache. Good for me. I get to skip sch.
And do what exactly at home? Oh, of course. Study.
Notice all we ever do is study? Study, go for exams then get a piece of paper which either makes you happy or makes you sad or makes you endure hours of painful scoldings which you feel you don't have the time for because what difference does it make? It's still a stupid piece of paper, telling you if you're smart or dumb.
It's the same old same old shiz that you get every year before you finally wedge your way out of that hellhole.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along to the age of paranoia.Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Sound like something you did? Sing along to the new age of paranoia and do the propaganda? Sure, you did that too. Where are you standing now?
Like Tyson said, go to college, don't go to high school.
You go to high school, get pressurized by all the stupid smart asses or wanna-bes who piss you off to no end then come out. That's great. Cookie cutter! Now almost everyone is a cookie cutter. No wonder writers always write about the nobodys at high school or college. Those who are neither jocks nor suck ass, squealy, whiny, arrogant cheerleaders who think they OWN the sc*ool nor geniuses who study from night to day and day to night nor in any other clique.
Namely, me. I am one of those, lost in the midst of everyone who has a clique that they belong to. And I don't give a hoot 99% of the time. The only time I care is when we have group projects. That sucks.
I am one of those nobodys whose stories writers like Meg Cabot and teen writers always like to talk about. Even Stephenie Meyer. The loser, Bella from somewhere who is basically a no one but then she meets her Edward. The losers who in the end succeed and become happy with their lives or either that they get the guy they want and HAPPILY EVER AFTER. It's sweet, you know, reading about those happy endings. But bam! A slap hits you out of that fantasy and you're back on your own feet, in your stinking life which probably doesn't have a happy ending.
Yahoo for that. Rejoice. And you're no one if you're not from specific places.
And people bring you down for thinking otherwise. For thinking that you will make it later on in life. People tell you, "HAHA, what makes you think that you will be famous or make it out of here." or if you tell them you want to be an actor, they'll respond, "You high or something?" Yup. Absolutely supportive answers which makes all thoughts of making it out of the hellhole suddenly seem impossible. And for that, a word of thanks needs to be said.
And by the way, someone asked me why I don't write for the sc*ool. I nearly burst out laughing. For the sch? Are you off your blazes? For what? For the hellhole in which they torture me then let me go after, what?, five years?
Basically, I won't try this time. Goodnight. Switching off. I think I'll practice sleeping with my eyes open during the exams.
Study, get a piece of paper, come out, get good job, retire, die. Study, get a piece of paper, come out, get lousy job, retire, die.
Sounds like life.
Suddenly the air around me is so bleak. Depressing shiz which is making things break.
Ilovemyfamily.
Amen.
Everyone gets angry at little minuscule things which later on they blame you for. And about blood pressure. Try thinking of your own advice and putting it to good use. It might help you reduce that anger which you lash out at someone unexpectedly.
I especially ENJOY it in the car where there's nowhere to go and nothing else to listen to.
And shes an actress (actress),
But she ain't got no need.
Shes got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.
Yup and those people get away with everything because they have money. Oh, money which makes the world go round. I've been watching too many Las Vegas advertisements, you're going to tell me. Love-hate relationship with money. Can't live without it yet it's dangerous.
In L.A they get Krazy / Miami they get Krazy
In New York they get Krazy / Atlanta they get Krazy
In London they get Krazy / in Paris they get Krazy
In Rome they get Krazy / Ebizas they get Krazy
In Trini they get Krazy / Jamaica they get Krazy
Australia they get Krazy / Japan they get Krazy
Cubanos they get Krazy / Dominicanos they get Krazy
Boricua they get Krazy
Mexicano they get Krazy
And so, basically we're all krazy crazy people living in a crazy world.
Word count close to 1000. So delighted with my speech which probably makes you think that I'm nuts. Which I might be. But who is there to blame but the sch*ool who pressurizes us.
But the old folks believe that sch is IMPORTAAAAANT. Of course. Of course. Naturally, naturally.
And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities.
Goodnight world.
I'm hoping to wake up to a better tomorrowww.
Cause you don’t know me, it’s the same sun rising
I don't even know where to begin.
I think I'll begin with Inkheart. It has got to be one of the best books I've ever read. It appeals even more to me with Dustfinger in it.
I mean I know that Dustfinger is not exactly a hottie, or an old school romantic or a hero or someone big. But he is important in the story, to me. If he's not in it, it wouldn't be Inkheart. He's 'matchstick-eating' a.k.a 'fire-eater' and personally, I think that is hot. Since I've watched the movie already and his character is played by Paul Bettany, who in reality is not a blue eyed bombshell, I sorta have an idea of what he looks like. The bad thing about watching movies based on novels before reading the book itself, is that you've already had the characters appearances in your mind and you can't erase it. Like in Twilight, my Jacob was so much more handsome. (:
Marty Marten. Adorable, huh?
Anyways, Dustfinger is my favorite character. He goes straight to my heart. And he has a furry marten called Gwin. I love characters with nice pets. Gwin is such an adorable name, no? I love how his character is so nimble, resourceful, has a little temper, is not particularly handsome but still good-looking to me, compassionate yet afraid of death. For those reading it too, let me tell you: he makes up for his betrayal later on in the story.
I still don't like Meggie though. Mo - the name itself makes me shudder but thank God for Brendan Fraser - is a protective dad who wants the best for his daughter but which dad doesn't want that for their children??? My mind wanders off. Elinor is.. such a talkative but charming elderly lady.
Ah, I am, once again, in love with fictional characters. Some might think that I'm crazy but I assure you, there is nothing wrong with dreaming of fictional characters. Especially ones who do incredible stuff like playing and taming fire.
I can't wait to get my hands on the sequels. Please don't let Dustfinger die. I'd die if he died. To me, the story dies along with the character. So don't kill Dustfinger off.
AHAHA. OMG. I JUST RUINED MY WHOLE SUSPENSE. I hate surprises, by the way. Dustfinger did NOT die. Rejoice and good for you, Cornelia Funke. She is one amazing writer even if she is German. Many of the greatest writers aren't necessarily people who write in English or however you put it..
But those sequels will have to wait as I am not done with the first one yet.
Hint, hint. Mom, can we get all three books? Maybe then you can read them to me like Mo. (: I'm telling you, if it's one other person who can make a story come alive by reading those words, it's my mom.
You might not have seen, but I withheld tears at the end of the movie. Yes, I'm that good at hiding and keeping those salty droplets from falling.
Oh great, just great. Now I want a matchstick-eater, fire-dancer/eater of my own.
Sometimes the fantasy world is so much more interesting.
"Do you think she likes it there?" - Meggie about her mom in the Inkworld.
Nowadays I've been slipping off into my own fantasy, forgetting all about everything that is happening around me. Most of the time and more than thrice, at sxxxxxx, my friend has to snap her fingers in front of my face to startle me out of my faraway thoughts.
How good it is to be loved.
xxx
The scent of the strawberry hand wash is making me mad with frustration. It reminds me of something but I can't place my finger on it so I keep sniffing at my hand.
Dang...
xxx
My leprechaun and my bespectacled friend.
Adam, who made me cry in that episode of CSI:NY; and Danny, who is such a sweetheart to Linds.
xxx
Who knew that guys shopping could be so hot? I certainly didn't till I saw this and a certain Senor Wheeler.
xxx
Dying to watch: Crank 2.
Jason Statham!
xxx
It's only during the exams when wonderful things start to come up and lure me away from my priorities.
That's bad.
Self control.
A test to see if I'm able to drag myself away from those 'evils'.
Sigh. No one told me life would be so challenging.
xxx
Other than this, the world seems normal to me.
xxx
"What do you want to do next time?"
"I don't know, journalism."
It just rolled off my tongue so easily. Like I meant to say it. Like I'd always been saying it. Am I really going into that field? The mind spins and boggles.
xxx
Listening to When You're Gone - Bryan Adams.
Cuh-nadian - Sebastien.
And you know how much I love those Canadians.
xxx
PIERRE BOUVIER'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW.
Happy birthday, Enrique Iglesias!
I am constantly updated by Cheez who actually bothers to read the news. Sadists.
xxx
I kinda always tend to get annoyed when I see your lovesick face and hear your lovesick voice. GAG ME.
xxx
The courage to show, to letting you know, I've never felt so much love before and once again I'm thinking about taking the easy way out.
How will I know, if I let you go?
i’m like a ringleader, i call the shots
The Wind Blows video is out and about. Yeah. I watched it.
I think Gives You Hell rocks better..?
This video is like what I expected. A little. At parts.
Kissing, hugging, taking pictures, throwing paper planes? How hopelessly romantic.
That girl ain't really pretty. Whatever. It felt mushy to watch it. Weird camera angles, making it oh-so-romantic. Tyson's slow motion smile of happiness. Wowwww... *faint* Yeah. Right.
There wasn't enough of the whole band. What did they show but the soundhole of their guitars and the sides of their face..?
take a breath and away it goes..
The video was short. ;[
Half of it was just Tyson singing as the wind blows wildly. His hair looks awesome though. Him thrashing around in the sea? Um. Melodramatic. Then burying the belongings. Wow.
xxx
I feel so depressed.
Listening to Peace by Weezer because it's true. I just listen to songs depending on my mood sometimes.
No one even understands how I feel in hell [sch]. Tell me that I can't do this and that. Please. Send me back home where I can curl up and sleep to my hearts content.
I'm so damn sleepy but I'm forcing myself to play for the whole day to relieve stress.
Fine. Since I can't do this, I'll do another. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I'll sleep until I no longer feel sleepy. :[ I'm just as depressed as I was when we walked out that door belonging to a certain gee-tar shop.
),: That face is tearing holes in me.. again.
xxx
boy, don’t try to front, i know..
A survey just because I feel like it.
1. What color is your toothbrush?
Pink ! I always take the pink/purple.
2. Name one person who made you smile today.
Nick Wheelerrr. With the new video which I watched. He's hawt. Nuff said.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Complaining how hot the weather is today.
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Nursing a violent upset stomach. Must've been yogurt.
5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Mmm.. I don't like candy that much. I prefer chocolateee !
6. Have you ever been to a str/p club?
.... Nah.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
They should just rot in hell?
8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
OH, OH ! STRAWBERRY FO SHIZZLE ! Cookies and cream after that. Yummy stuff. I need the Baskin Robbins NOW !
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Oh, um, chicken soupie. 
10. Do you like your wallet?
My wallet is hip and awesome ! It's like those red indian moccasin kinds with the brown tassels. Uh-huh, ya got that.
11. What was the last thing you ate?
Yogurt which all went back out. Being super duper obscene here but whatev.
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
I wish. Oh, speaking of clothing. I sketched out a thought. A wedding gown which popped into my head during Chemistry or somefink. Preeetty lovely. (: I know, it just comes to my mind.
13. The last sporting event you watched?
Um... was it golf?
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Definitely the sweetest kind - Caramel.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Outta battery, try again tomorrow.
16. Ever gone camping?
Um, no. Err.. ew?
17. Do you take vitamins daily?
Going to. Now that the SARS thingy is back. God, save us.
18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
Not applicable.
19. Do you have a tan?
Like those models in Brazil? I wish.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
YES ! One, because the pizza is so oily, it makes me have an upset tummy. Two, because Chinese food is sometimes better. (:
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Naturally, naturally.
22. What did your last text message say?
To prevent data loss, please charge your battery. =)
23. What are you doing tomorrow?
Don't even ask. I don't even know what to do with everyday. I don't like everyday, only the holidays.
24. WHERE IS 24?!?
KIEFER SUTHERLAND ! KIEFER SUTHERLAND ! RONAN KEATING ! DAVID BECKHAM ! JESSE ! Hee! (:
25. Look to your left, what do you see?
My little mount of diaries.
26. What color & make is your watch?
Sleek black Swisssss.
27. What do you think of when you hear the word Australia?
SHEEP AND HUGH JACKMAN AND *** AND BORING AND BROWN.
28. What is your birthstone?
Topaz.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Oh, this. Dad likes to go in so that we get free refills but I prefer to just get the drive thru then go home and eat in front of the TV.
30. What is your favorite number?
7, d'oh.
31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Some dude. Wrong number fella.
32. Any plans today?
Grr. Just thinking of it makes my blood boil.
33. How many states/provinces/countries have you lived in?
34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Uncountable number of annoyances. Among are: my tummyache, the fact that I'd rather be elsewhere and homework. What else is new?
35. Last song listened to?
I Melt - Rascal Flatts.
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
You know, I find myself slow in that kind of thing. Those are the things that I grasp slower than others, I think. Or maybe I've just never tried? 
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
NO HARD LABOR!
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
I don't have a favorite that I wear ALL THE TIME because it will wear out. ): But currently I love my shiny colorful but pink flats which lace up my ankles. <3 Love, love.
39. Are you jealous of anyone?
Um...
40. Is anyone jealous of you?
Oh hell yeah. You should see their faces.
41. Do you love anyone?
Aww, of course. Apart from my family, I love Sebastien, David and Nick and etc. You know the whole gang.
42. Do any of your friends have children?
Friends? I believe... that I do not know. :O
43. What do you usually do during the day?
Good question. I would like to say: EAT AND SLEEP but I can't.
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
DEFINITELY. :[
45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Hello. Yes, I do. I do use it. But not as much as, "Good morning" even when it's not morning anymore. David has this adorable way of saying it and I'm learning to perfect it.
46. What color is your car?
Oh, PURPLE. No.. it's not. Wait, do I drive?
47. Do you like cats?
MEOW! I like meowing at them but I'm not sure if I like them.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
Thinking of you.
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Tasmanian Devil. Wawawiwa.
50. How did you get your worst scar?
Pardon me?
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