Spuddy Buddies

This Means War – a movie review

So we watched This Means War yesterday. And let me just say: It was amazing... for the first thirty minutes. If you think it looks as exciting as it did in the trailer (which showed practically the whole movie), then I'm here to prove you wrong.

FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) sabotage each other's dates with Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) to win her heart. That's basically how the story goes and as far as it can get. I don't have to include the fact that there was an antagonist, Heinrich (played by Til Schweiger) because the main plot barely included this part.

Firstly, I was fooled into thinking that there would be lots of action in a steady and consistent, maybe funny, storyline. The first scene looked very much like a captivating spy-action film. The next few minutes into the movie was even better with some witty and smart conversations. Everyone was smiling and laughing. But as the movie progressed, it became clear to me that the 'romantic comedy and spy film' was actually a B-class (with some Hollywood production of stunts and effects) movie of crude humor and poorly developed characters. In short, it was boring.

I don't know if the part was supposed to be played like that, but Witherspoon's Lauren was flawed, fake smiles and everything. Lauren's personality was similar to the foolishness of Cameron Diaz's June in Knight And Day. Don't get me wrong. Witherspoon acts in great movies I've watched and loved, but her role as Lauren was just unlikable. In fact, all the characters were not likable at all.

Moving along to Chris Pine as FDR, good-looking womanizer who actually has a heart of gold by the end of the movie. Let me quote his IMDb profile before I start.  "Trademark: Frequently plays charming and likeable characters." Yeah. Right. Perhaps Pine wants to head in another direction for his acting career or is trying to play different characters a la Johnny Depp. Sometimes, different is bad. FDR was not only a very stereotyped character, but an annoying jerk with a shallow personality. Pine was plain disappointing in this movie. (I thought he was excellent in Unstoppable.)

Tom Hardy's Tuck exceeded my expectations. A little. Okay, I actually had no expectations. Like any other movie, Tuck's personality had to contrast with FDR's nasty behavior, so Tuck was the nice/pleasant/good/honest/modest guy. Obviously, Tuck was a much better character to watch but either the audio was just bad or Hardy mumbles because I had a tough time deciphering his conversations.

Trish, played by Chelsea Handler, was by far the worst character in the movie. I get that female main characters of romantic comedies need their gaggle of best friends, but seriously? A foul-mouthed friend with the crudest scenes in the movie? Wrong move, McG (or the one to be blamed).

SPOILER ALERT!

The only scene I found entertaining and maybe enjoyable, sandwiched between a bunch of boring scenes where FDR and Tuck spend what feels like a lifetime in different surveillance rooms to spy on each other, was the scene where Lauren danced in her kitchen while the two loves of her life darted in and out of her house. I liked how the camera rolled continuously across the rooms.

I disliked the ending. Immensely. FDR didn't deserve to end up with Lauren. It should've been Tuck, although he had a fair conclusion to his own story. There was not much difference in the chemistry between Lauren and Tuck compared to Lauren and FDR, but at least Tuck seemed more sincere and humble (?). Ah, why do I even need to justify a meaningless movie? I won't even rate it because it's that bad. (Okay, maybe not as bad as What's Your Number, but still.)

Well, if you like an anti-climatic movie with some crude humor and a lacking storyline, then be my guest. If you prefer movies with depth and significance, watch Leap Year (one of the most satisfying romantic comedies I've ever watched) or Just Go With It (hilarious movie for those who want to hurt their stomachs laughing) and heck, even The Bounty Hunter (which received poor rating despite its amusing humor).