I am doing math.
No, I’m not. I’m here, blogging because my brain is tired. I think my brain is panting. Brain? Hello? Are you tired? I can feel you breathing down my neck. Math makes me seasick because the numbers are just swimming in my head and I keep drawing the wrong lines. I think I’m distracted by the fact that I need a new notebook STAT because I have a lot of things I want to do.
I don’t get the basics, how do I get the advanced parts? Need a life jacket over here. Ah, yes, now I’m floating… Oh no, air is leaking out of the float and I’m sinking again. That is how I constantly feel when I’m doing math. Whatever math you name, I’ll be lost in between.
I have things to do! I can’t be looking at my math every single day! I need my notebook! *cries* Pen and paper doesn’t feel the same anymoooore. I want my Microsoft Word. My phone has the Microsoft Word application but I’ll be wearing my thumbs out if I type out 50000 words. No way I’m losing my thumbs to my insignificant phone.
You said it, brother. 
Anyways, I’m kind of at a loss for words again. I just want a new laptop and someone to help me unload my old hard disc into the new one. I want my old files back. Even though I told myself that it’s nothing important and I can do everything again, I can’t!! I need my things.
Okay, there’s been too many ‘I’s used.
I should go and complete my homework now.
P.S: Baby (the beagle and no, that’s not his real name) has a cute collar. He looks adorable but somehow the Green Day tie around his neck looked cuter. (:
x
Because I was always labeled as useless, stupid, indecisive, lazy, a bum and a drama queen.
Only God knows what other names people call me.
But learning from disappointment comes from all these lovely nicknames.
I don’t care.
I might have the longest strings of nicknames but I’m not who you think I am.
I’ve taken many bad falls but when I finally hope for something, sometimes just clinging on to some little bit of hope is wrong too. Tell me what’s right then.
I’ll be a broken shell before you know it and I know you’ll never blame yourself.
I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.
That’s probably my motto.
I don’t care.
You’ll never see me fall and beg.
x
I took a handwriting test and this is what the results said:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
Cool. This is so me.
I also took a drawing personality test:
You tend to pursue many different activities simultaneously. When misfortune does happen, it doesn’t actually dishearten you all that much.
You are a direct and forthright person. You like to get to the core of the issue right away, with few signs of hesitation.
You like following the rules and being objective. You are precise and meticulous, and like to evaluate decisions before making them.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.
Mmm… I disagree with the third line. I’m not meticulous.
And:
You are:
- slightly expressed extravert
- moderately expressed intuitive personality
- moderately expressed feeling personality
- slightly expressed perceiving personality
I’ve always been interested in what my writing says about me. 
x
How I feel about Mondays. This is all you need to know.
Will be back into my depressed cage tomorrow. Don’t bother trying to cheer me up. This whole year will be a disaster. I can’t wait till 2011. So unhappy about the thought of Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Some of the weekends will probably suck too. My life would suck with/without you, yeah. 
P.S: R.I.P Chiquita Wheeler.
My advice to everybody: Don’t go to school if you can help it. It drains your brain juice and takes away your youth.
x
This is about me. About me and my hatred towards the editorial board.
I submitted an article about Twilight and how it shouldn’t be known as the Best Movie of 2009 and guess what, geniuses? It didn’t go into the magazine. Instead, some bitch’s (my friend of 11 years) plagiarized article about DEATH somehow worked its way into the magazine and is lying there flat out on solid white paper for everyone to read and praise. What the f*ck? I’m seriously pissed. That bitch whom I’ve known for 11 years is the worst person I’ve met in my entire life. I don’t even know why I still talk to her. Oh, probably because of the society who will think me as stuck up and judgmental if I tell them the reason why she’s such a bitch.
Now all these profanities are not spewing out from nowhere. They’re coming from my angry and ripped soul. How could they do this to me? I mean I hate the school. I really hate it. I can’t wait to break free and never look at it again but while I’m still there, I have to endure with all the shit they throw out. In my freshman year, I wrote a piece and they put it into the magazine. And last year I wrote one (this current one) and they didn’t print it out. I only wrote it because I wanted people to see how my writing has matured. That’s all. And they couldn’t put it out.
WHY? Because they were too busy reading pieces of SHIT that they thought deserved to go into the oh-so-effing-grand glorious pages of their STUPID MAGAZINE. Yes. I am this angry. I am more than angry. I’m pissed! I write because I like to. I live to write, write to live and as corny as that sounds, it’s true. I don’t have to prove this to anyone but anyone who knows me can vouch for this. And that bitch who is some goth emo freak freaking Lord Blackwood (from Sherlock Holmes the movie) gets her article about death into the magazine? Mind you, I’ve read some of her writing before and she’s a shitty writer. She doesn’t even know simple words and there she is, throwing out big son of a gun sized words?
There are a few probable reasons as to why my piece didn’t get onto the front page of the English section. One, because the person I submitted my article to didn’t hand it in to the people because she’s a big fan of Twilight and hates to see her beloved Edward Cullen being criticized. Two, the editorial board are big supporters of Twilight and hate to see me put out the truth so straightforwardly. Three, they’re biased.
I’m wondering if I should write a piece this year to blast the school about their biased ways. Or maybe I shouldn’t write at all. If I don’t write to show my protest, no one would hear it. No one would know about it. No one would even care. I don’t know.
Not considering slicing my wrists yet but we’ll see. I might reach the exploding point… and I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into this depressed nonsense.
x
Sorry for the foul language. You would too.
