what happened in between?

Because I was always labeled as useless, stupid, indecisive, lazy, a bum and a drama queen.

Only God knows what other names people call me.

But learning from disappointment comes from all these lovely nicknames.

I don’t care.

I might have the longest strings of nicknames but I’m not who you think I am.

I’ve taken many bad falls but when I finally hope for something, sometimes just clinging on to some little bit of hope is wrong too. Tell me what’s right then.

I’ll be a broken shell before you know it and I know you’ll never blame yourself.

I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

That’s probably  my motto.

I don’t care.

You’ll never see me fall and beg.

x

baby if I knew then what I know now

How I feel about Mondays. This is all you need to know.

Will be back into my depressed cage tomorrow. Don’t bother trying to cheer me up. This whole year will be a disaster. I can’t wait till 2011. So unhappy about the thought of Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Some of the weekends will probably suck too. My life would suck with/without you, yeah.

P.S: R.I.P Chiquita Wheeler.

My advice to everybody: Don’t go to school if you can help it. It drains your brain juice and takes away your youth.

x

watches of every kind for your loved one

It’s my sister’s birthday soon and I’m thinking of getting her a movado watch. I myself got a Victorinox the year before and I was just looking at the condition of my sister’s watch. She’s a big fan of analog watches like me. I like the watches with Roman numbers. I’m old school in that way.

Her current watch is a Nike and it’s getting worn out. I would get her a digital watch but these movado watches are classy and their prices are decent. This means I won’t have to depend on my dad’s wallet to get my sister a birthday present. It does seem a bit insincere to be buying someone a gift with someone else’s money, doesn’t it? I don’t know. I’m bad with birthday presents and it’s taken me a while to figure something nice to get my sister.

Watches are such useful mechanisms and my sister always wears a watch when she goes out. It’s better than relying on other people for the time. For example, this guy asked me for the time today. He had a swarm of friends around him and after I gave him the time, I wondered why he didn’t just ask his friends for the time. Which is when I noticed that none of them were wearing watches. How inconvenient. Maybe I could suggest they get some of these classy Movado watches for themselves.

I’m so sick of living for other people

This is about me. About me and my hatred towards the editorial board.

I submitted an article about Twilight and how it shouldn’t be known as the Best Movie of 2009 and guess what, geniuses? It didn’t go into the magazine. Instead, some bitch’s (my friend of 11 years) plagiarized article about DEATH somehow worked its way into the magazine and is lying there flat out on solid white paper for everyone to read and praise. What the f*ck? I’m seriously pissed. That bitch whom I’ve known for 11 years is the worst person I’ve met in my entire life. I don’t even know why I still talk to her. Oh, probably because of the society who will think me as stuck up and judgmental if I tell them the reason why she’s such a bitch.

Now all these profanities are not spewing out from nowhere. They’re coming from my angry and ripped soul. How could they do this to me? I mean I hate the school. I really hate it. I can’t wait to break free and never look at it again but while I’m still there, I have to endure with all the shit they throw out. In my freshman year, I wrote a piece and they put it into the magazine. And last year I wrote one (this current one) and they didn’t print it out. I only wrote it because I wanted people to see how my writing has matured. That’s all. And they couldn’t put it out.

WHY? Because they were too busy reading pieces of SHIT that they thought deserved to go into the oh-so-effing-grand glorious pages of their STUPID MAGAZINE. Yes. I am this angry. I am more than angry. I’m pissed! I write because I like to. I live to write, write to live and as corny as that sounds, it’s true. I don’t have to prove this to anyone but anyone who knows me can vouch for this. And that bitch who is some goth emo freak freaking Lord Blackwood (from Sherlock Holmes the movie) gets her article about death into the magazine? Mind you, I’ve read some of her writing before and she’s a shitty writer. She doesn’t even know simple words and there she is, throwing out big son of a gun sized words?

There are a few probable reasons as to why my piece didn’t get onto the front page of the English section. One, because the person I submitted my article to didn’t hand it in to the people because she’s a big fan of Twilight and hates to see her beloved Edward Cullen being criticized. Two, the editorial board are big supporters of Twilight and hate to see me put out the truth so straightforwardly. Three, they’re biased.

I’m wondering if I should write a piece this year to blast the school about their biased ways. Or maybe I shouldn’t write at all. If I don’t write to show my protest, no one would hear it. No one would know about it. No one would even care. I don’t know.

Not considering slicing my wrists yet but we’ll see. I might reach the exploding point… and I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into this depressed nonsense.

x

Sorry for the foul language. You would too.

Happy New Year again!

I’m late. Yes, I know.

Sorry about that. A new year means new things to plan and organize. Been slightly busy with this and that but I’m here now. To blog… about New Year’s day and whatnot.

First off,

May this year bring you joy, happiness, wealth, prosperity, good health, whatever whatever. All good things, that is. It’s time to step out of 2009 and in to 2010. However crappy 2010 may turn out to be, remember that there’s always next year. And by the way, I strongly disapprove of the people who keep insisting that the world will end in 2012. If it ends in 2012, so be it. Stop depressing everyone by saying that we’ll be gone in 2 years time.

Anyways, 2010, here I come. The first two days of this new year have already proved to be… quite normal. I don’t think I’ll be saying that next week. I’ll probably be busy, busy, busy but fear not, for I shall not forget thee, dear blog. Har har. Shakespeare, I am not. Forget my pathetic attempt at talking medieval language.

I don’t have many resolutions this year but I found this and thought it summed up a few of my plans:

Yes. And to add to the list:

1. Smile more.
2. Try not to curse and swear too much.
3. Try to actually finish my assignments on time.
4. Give my dog more attention so that he won’t be so deprived and won’t feel the need to run away like a silly mutt. Okay, that was unkind. I take that back…
5. Tolerate more nonsense from people I hate dislike.
6. Uh… do something useful with my life.
7. Try not to wish for the year to end quickly seeing as it’s hardly been two days since the new year.
8. Complain less.

And yeah, that about sums up what I plan to do this year.

What do you plan to do?

We watched the fireworks display from the usual rooftop this year and it was amazing though I don’t think it was anything great compared to all the other ones I saw on CNN. LOL. The grass on the other side always looks greener, I guess.

This is not the real picture. I just nipped it from Bing images.

And… apart from New Year’s day, nothing much has been going on. Same old, same old.

I’ve been invited to a friend’s birthday barbecue party. I’m wondering if I should go. I feel awkward at social events. I mean, I’m not unsociable… I just don’t fit in because I’m not like everybody else. And I hate buying birthday presents for people because it’s a hassle. I must sound pretty mean but seriously though, birthday parties and buying birthday presents are not fun things to do.

Oh, by the way,

I went grocery shopping with my mom on New Year’s Eve.

School’s gonna suck. Oh well. Nothing new there.

That’s probably it from me today or is it tomorrow already? Ah well.

Love and peace, T.