Musical confessions and such

Six years ago, I fell in love with Super Junior.

Wait.

What?

Six years ago? Surely you mean six weeks ago?

A lot of things that I didn’t say in the past make me sound pretentious in the present day. I have tons of those moments. We all have those moments. When we thought what we liked was uncool but later on it became cool and then you were like, dang I could’ve started a trend!

But, I will tell you that if I had been pushed harder, “six years ago, I fell in love with Super Junior” would’ve been a fact today.

My sister’s friends were performing Sorry, Sorry for some high school event. When the song came on, I felt like dancing. And when I feel like dancing to a song, it means serious business. Those kids who were straining their necks to watch that performance? I was one of them.

I believe I tried to listen to the song after that, but it just felt too weird. Repetitive songs weren’t a big thing back then. So I mostly felt embarrassed and strange, and that was why I did not fall into the big Kpop thing that was spreading so rapidly across Asia.

Last year, when I started listening to Korean music, I only stuck to girl groups. I imagined myself liking boy bands, imagined myself cheering at some bleached blond dude on my screen and felt a chill run down my spine. It was a lonely feeling. How was I to convince my sister to like something like that? What kind of expression would my mom make? Who was I going to tell ‘oh, I just found out that cute kpop guy #1 likes spaghetti’? I faced that kind of loneliness before my sister joined in on all the anime fun and it was frustrating, not being able to make those kind of comments on impulse.

It turns out that my mom and sister continue to surprise me again and again. I have finally realized that a large part of this is caused by my own false perceptions and harsh self-judgment.

Well, it’s been only two months since I started listening to SJ’s songs. Hard to believe. All that fun makes it seem like two years. Here’s to many more months!

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