That title sure sounds gimmicky… is what you’re probably thinking.
My clarification? No dietary supplements involved!
Okay, I think I made things worse. That makes me sound like I’m trying to sell a product even more. No, no, no. This is just a story and here it is:
Early this year, I planned to become a basketball player. I’ve been writing a post about that but it never came out because I felt awkward and silly for being so obsessive about basketball. Anyway, I initially thought I would sign up for classes and play ball next semester. While I was in that moment, I thought, oh man, I gotta start preparing and get my exercise game on if I plan on getting amazing calves like that.
I was also getting influenced by Kpop. It was hard to keep in how much I wanted to break out in dances from watching a ton of live performances and I wanted to find an outlet for that. I figured that those girls were looking so good because they were dancing every day. I have always disliked doing structured workouts because I have a hard time focusing on my form so I was like, hey, why not dance?
In the end I didn’t find good dance workouts and settled for short and effective workouts because hey, I need some stamina to play ball, right? I started to enjoy those workouts after a while. I was tired but it made me feel better after a long day at school. I kept to one workout and loved how it got easier every day. After ditching all my interests and insane study-bug behaviors to become a lazy person, I finally felt like I was improving at something.
I have also been in denial about my weight. The dreaded Freshman 15? More like Freshman 20. And it was very real, no matter how many times I looked at the scale and thought, no, the numbers are wrong and went on to stuff my face with more food. When people around me started to suggest things like how fat my face looked, the reality began to sink in. Pants I used to wear didn’t fit me anymore. The funny thing is, I always thought I was exercising enough but it was disproportionate to how much I was eating.
We always focus on things that seem “wrong” in that moment but those same things become right in retrospect. I used to think I was overweight but when I look back now, I feel like I was better back then.
I’ve been eating a lot less and that has been pretty convenient for someone who hates thinking about what to eat at school. I enjoyed my walnut and granola bar moments, though getting cravings is not fun at all. I’m glad I have my sister to keep me in check. I can get pretty crazy once I start exercising (high five, dad!) so every time she starts talking to me, I’m like, okay, if I exercise crazily for an hour, it won’t go unnoticed so I should just stop. Or more like, Would you rather choose a lecture or self-control?
I’m kidding. My sister is too nice. She’s always cooking when I’m exercising and every day I feel lucky when that happens so I try to wash the dishes without any complaints.
Long story short, I don’t really want to be a basketball player anymore. This post wouldn’t be mine if I didn’t throw in a big thesis statement about my current obsession: Super Junior is currently a big part of my life so I kind of want to be a dancer now. I hope I can continue working towards losing ten more pounds or so (not extreme since that’s about how much I put on).
Stay inspired and peace out.