This is one of those posts again. It’s hard for me to give these posts a title without me being too emo or something.
I’ve been reading pretty depressing news lately which is why I try not to read the news (I have a personal news dispenser aka my sister who will read news headlines to me every day anyway).
1. I followed a link on Twitter that somehow ended up with me reading disturbing news about a guy abusing his fiancee. I watched the video and it was ugly and shocking and I felt very sad for both the guy and the girl.
People often think nothing/little of abuse or domestic violence. At least those who have never witnessed or been a victim of abuse. “Oh, it’s just a family/couple arguing.” “Oh, the mother probably upset the father.” They make excuses for what is blatantly obvious or they pretend they don’t see it.
To those people, shame on you.
The victims of abuse need help and often they don’t know where to turn to because they’re scared and embarrassed because how the hell can you say ‘hey, my dad/my boyfriend/whoever is beating the shit out of me/belittling me to the point of wrecking me’? Most people can’t expose their abuse because their abuser is someone they care about (even if they’re doing all those bad things to them).
And it’s not unusual for the victim to forgive the abuser after that. They make excuses for their abuser or blame themselves with thoughts like ‘s/he was having a bad day’ or ‘I shouldn’t have said that to him/her’ or ‘s/he won’t do it again, that was a one-off’. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s hard to break out of it without help and support.
When people tell you they’re being abused, know that it has taken them forever to work up the courage to admit something so painful and embarrassing. It’s a cry for help. Help for the victim AND the abuser. Don’t brush it off and make excuses for their abuser. That doesn’t help.
I know abuse. It’s ugly and sad and frankly doesn’t do shit for either the abuser or the victim. Abuse doesn’t necessarily mean violence. It can also mean mental abuse which honestly is just as bad because even years down the road, it still affects you.
There were insensitive comments in those articles as well as on Twitter. It breaks my heart to see that people actually think that if a woman hits a man, she should expect to be hit. Or a man can hit a woman if she hits him first. Or something along those nasty lines.
No. It’s wrong. Either way, it’s wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right. How do people not realize that yet?
There are so many things I want to say about abuse but for now, to people out there who are being abused and can’t seem to get help (because some places just don’t offer enough help), know that there are people who will believe your story. Keep staying strong whether for yourself or your family.
2. If you’ve been floating around on Facebook enough times lately (or Youtube since it’s now on there), you might have seen the video of the Thai lady who filmed a bunch of Chinese tourists’ bad manners (cutting queues and being rowdy) at a Korean airport.
I watched it a while back on Facebook and thought, omg so true. It happens. Oh, it happens more times than I can count. Like where do these people come from (rhetoric) and HOW do they not know that their behavior is TERRIBLE?
Today someone posted the Youtube link and I clicked on it, not knowing that it was the same link. I read the comments on Youtube and was promptly quite sickened by the stuff that people wrote. So much ignorance, hatred and stupidity.
People were trying to argue which types of Chinese people or Asians are better than which. Some said all Chinese are rude. Some even tried to offer other Asians as being equally rude. It was plain ignorant and unnecessary.
I get that rude China people are hated because of all the disgusting things they do. And sadly, there are various Chinese of different nationalities who have adopted similar appalling rude behavior. You would think that people who see disgusting behavior would stay away from it and try to be the opposite but no. Goodness only knows how annoying it is to have your line cut (constantly, I might add) or have to listen to obnoxious yelling or deal with unhygienic toilet etiquette (omg).
BUT, a group of Chinese tourists does not encompass all the Chinese people on this planet. Besides, there are sooo many countries where Chinese people come from so how can you say that all Chinese are the same? The people in the video are from the mainland (obviously China) but apparently to plenty of ignorant people, everyone is from the mainland. Um, please no. I’m also not saying that all mainland Chinese behave like that…
To the people who read news about disgusting behavior by Chinese people, please understand that the word Chinese is a huge umbrella for various Chinese people living in different countries. They are not all the same. Side note: some are actually refusing to be labeled Chinese because of the generally bad name that has been given to the Chinese. That is the extent of how much people don’t want to be associated with the bad stuff.
3. If you’ve seen the news or, you know, been on Twitter or some kind of social media, you probably heard about the 7.8 magnitude earthquake in Nepal.
My first thought after hearing about the earthquake was the Nepalese waiter from a Vietnamese restaurant back home who was so good to us. He remembered our orders and was just an all-round cheerful guy. He left a couple of years ago but we occasionally still think about him and wonder how he is. I immediately wondered if he was back in Nepal and if he was alright.
My heart goes out to all the people affected. I pray that help gets to them quickly. Nepal is a relatively poor nation and it’s clear they were not prepared for something this devastating. People have lost their homes, their lives, their families. That’s why we need to help them. I’m happy that our school sent out an email asking people to donate or help out in any way.
We donated to Paul Walker’s charity Reach Out Worldwide (ROWW). His brother, Cody, is carrying on the good work and they have already deployed help to Nepal. If you would like to donate, you can do so here. If you have already donated to other charities, good on ya.
4. Today I lent my book to this girl to copy my notes. She sat diagonally in front of me. She was wearing a tank top. I didn’t notice anything odd about her for the first half of the class. Then I noticed.
Lines. Pale but distinct lines. Scars on her lower left arm. Cutting scars. I have only ever seen such scars in Tumblr posts by people who cut so I was stunned and saddened to see the scars on her arm.
Questions ran through my mind: Why did she do it? What happened? How old are those scars? Did her family know? Is she alright now?
It made me sad to see that someone could go through things that would lead them harm themselves. I wanted to say something to her but didn’t know what and I didn’t think it would be appropriate. We need to care about people around us more. People ought to give and receive love and support so that things like this don’t have to happen.
5. My sister and I were on Youtube watching some videos when we stumbled across a video in which the man filmed racist remarks being thrown at him on public transport. This guy is white and the guy making racist comments was an old Korean man.
Racism is everywhere, unfortunately, and the guy being racist was saying mean/hurtful things and among the things that the old man said was, ‘we are Buddhist’. I was confused and well, angered, by this Korean man’s statement because I don’t think any religion condones racism. And people should know this.
What I couldn’t understand was why the guy filming would take that to heart and say ‘maybe the guy was being racist because he’s a Buddhist’. No, he’s being a racist because he’s a racist. People using their religion as an excuse to be racist and people blaming racism on religion have got it all wrong.
And what’s worse was the comments. People were saying things like, ‘my friend’s father is Buddhist and he’s super racist’. I can’t speak for other religions but if anyone knew anything about Buddhism, it’s that Buddhism is built on compassion and wisdom. This article actually explains compassion and wisdom quite simply but effectively.
Saying things like ‘he was this or that because he’s a Buddhist’ only lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts. Similarly, throwing out you’re Buddhist when you’re doing something bad also causes unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts. We don’t need that.
And that’s all I have. Reading through, I realize that there is a point to my post:
Let’s be kinder to each other.