i think we’ll make it out
How do I say this....?
Hmm...
Well, I was just thinking about meeting AAR. And that's basically all I've been dreaming about for the past three days. Some acquaintances of mine got to shake AAR's hands and I can't say I didn't burn with jealousy. Dude, there are only three bands I want to meet in real life. BSB, SP and AAR.
All I'm asking from Nick is a hug and maybe a picture (definitely a picture for memories' sake). That's not too much to ask for, is it? I mean, I'm not an Edward Cullen freak who wants to marry Robert Pattinson. I don't want to marry Nick or Tyson or Chris or Mike. I don't want to marry them. I'm not going to run up to them and kiss them and beg them to marry me, sweep me off my feet or anything crazy like that. I can't say the same for throwing myself in front of them to ask for a hug though (I bet you didn't know that hugs are healthy). I just want to meet them. That's it.
And maybe they won't be as nice as I imagine them to be but if I don't meet them, I'll never know, will I? Maybe they'll ignore me, maybe they'll be really down-to-earth, maybe they'll be really snobby, maybe they'll be just plain big-hearted and generous with their hugs and smiles. I'll never know if I don't meet them so I don't see the harm in going to meet them when they come again.
And I'm not the type of person who puts all my hope into one basket. I don't keep my hope high because I've learned to be disappointed, to expect disappointment. I mean, I can take a NO as an answer because it's no point in hoping so much then being crushed. It's not that I haven't had any dreams come true (and I thank those who have made me really happy all this while. I really appreciate it) but more than once have I been let down. So trust me to learn from my mistakes and restrain myself from being excited about one thing that would make me want to burst into song.
I know maybe they won't give me genuine smiles because really, after so many years on the road and meeting fans, you'd get kinda tired of all that meeting-and-greeting. Like Nick Carter. His smile is kinda carved onto his face permanently now. I don't know but I suspect that when he sees a fan, his smile will just turn on like that. A 'Fan Alert' smile, y'know. I'm just saying. I can't be sure. So if Nick gives me one of those practiced smiles, I don't care. It's good enough. At least he isn't giving me a sour look. I'd be tired too if I had to keep that smile pasted on while I'm out.
Like those celebrities photographed looking less than pleased? Aren't we all human? Don't we all have bad days? We can't be smiling all the time. It's not normal. So why do the people make fun of them? It's hard for them to go around, pleasing the whole world when they aren't even happy themselves. We're all just human except celebrities have a title and their faces are pasted all over the papers and stuff.
But if all the celebrities actually think along the same lines as Jeff Stinco, there probably wouldn't be so many disappointed fans out there. Jeff is really nice to all the fans because he once said that when he was younger, he actually met a band that he liked and they weren't very nice. And he knows how that feels so he tries not to be like that when a fan approaches him. I guess sometimes you just need to have that hand slapped across your face or be given the cold shoulder to know what it actually feels like to be a normal human being who doesn't have his or her face on the front cover of the papers every other week. It's like a 'go back to the time when you weren't famous yet' moment.
I thought about so many other things to add here while I was in the bathroom (the bathroom is my thinking haven) but now I can't think of them. When it comes back to me, I'll put it down.
The good -or possibly bad- thing about my dreams are.. they are so real. The only time I feel disappointed is when I wake up and find that I haven't actually got Sebastien's autograph or Nick hasn't actually hugged me. That's bad. That gets really bad.
And when I'm actually awake and daydreaming, I have to physically slap myself out of that daydream which gets too good at one point but in the end, I'm just building castles and characters in the air.
Dear Santa Nick (Wheeler),
Can I have a hug? A hug that will last a lifetime? Please?
And would it be too much to ask for a smile which will break my heart? You know, one of your incredibly lopsidedly cute smiles?
Thank you. I can't wait.
With love, T.
If he ever reads this which I totally doubt.. I'm feeling like Cinderella. You know when Cinderella's stepmother tells her stepsister, I said if and then they both laugh? Infinitesimal chances of that happening. But if you do (I still don't believe he will), know that I'm still waiting for that hug.

xxx
Um, to those whom are not concerned here, I'm not nuts. I'm just a very normal fan girl who just wants to tick one thing off her endless Things-to-do list. (:
xxx
Now I'm heading for a heart heart heartbreak.
xxx
OMG, if you've ever watched Kris Farrow's videos on Youtube, then you will know that he has a really amazing voice. It's like so rich and he sounds like James Valentine.
Just a random thought.
xxx
996 words. I need 3 more to reach 1000. Oh, look. Over a thousand words already.
I wanna reach 1500 but I'm going to watch a movie now so maybe another time.
xxx
Have you learned your AAR lyrics?
All American Rejects - Mona Lisa.
This is my favorite song out of WTWCD. It's a really sweet song for somebody you love. D'you love somebody?
Lyrics:
Here's another pity, there's another chance
Try to learn a lesson but you can't
If we can burn a city in futures and in past
Without a change our lives will never last
We're going fast (or sometimes he says We're burning gas)
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
We don't need our bags and we can just leave town
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
What can we do better?
When will we know how?
A man says from the sidewalk to the crowd
If you can change the weather
If you wanted to yourself
But if you can't
I guess we all need help
Cause i need help
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
We don't need our bags and we can just leave town
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
We say,
We do,
All the lies, the truth
And all I need is next to me
(Yeah)
We're going fast
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around
You'll be the queen, and I'll be your clown
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
You can sit beside me when the world comes down




