Spuddy Buddies

came without warning so i had to…

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Hot damn! Bobbing my head to Kid Rock's All Summer Long on loud speakers. It has the whole big booming bass effect. Awesome way to spend a Saturday!

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I hope we're progressing.. on that Hinder thingy.

I guess it's okay to play it without the music. Ew. Haha!

Oh my God. I can't believe he's planning to teach us David Cook. Wait. Reading something that has me almost in tears. I mean, I can't believe people start out with a Fender Telecaster as their first guitar. Like OMG?! I can't believe it.. Why am I even talking about this?! Topic changing..

Anyway, we're doing okay I guess. I mean, you all like lie to us and tell us we're doing well but we're obviously not, right? I'm so paranoid. We're not. I'm thinking back. Web of lies. Who said that? I forgot. Spiderman? What am I talking about? I'm repeating that. Again. Whatever. Don't tell us if we're doing good or anything or improving. We don't wanna hear that. We wanna see you realise and notice. Right??

We need new strings. Nothing is leading us. We're not becoming real musicians. We should've learned the piano or keyboard or something first. But how do these people who teach themselves do it? Nobody ever gives us feedbacks so we're not gonna improve shiz. I admire people who teach themselves. Independent and responsible people. Of course, that's never gonna happen to me, right? I'm asking too many questions.. right?

We can't tune shiz. We can't understand shiz. We can't afford shiz. We started out bad shiz. We ain't responsible shiz. We suck at plucking. We can't read shiz notes. We only have one shiz.

Sounds like I'm rapping, huh? You don't like that. It's true. No one will listen to my ranting. You'll just read this and be like, "OH! How poor!" then you'll forget. You'll feel all emotional and sorry and enlightened then it'll all die down because no one is there to remind you. You'll be like, "I'm gonna practice more and be good from now on." Lies, lies and lies. No offence to anyone. This is all just coming out straight from my mind. My feelings. This is how a heart breaks, really. But have a little patience.

Our strings are gonna be dead and broken soon. We'll be using threads instead. The old strings shall be mended with super glue to stick back or to hang clothes. The old knobs (for tuning) will become the timer for the toaster. The old wood will become floorboards. I know this sounds ridiculous and emotional but that's how I'm feeling.

I thought today.. alot of things like what's happening now. Like how we learn to know the keyboard for the PC. Will learning be chords as easy? Getting used to eating spicy stuff. Getting used to chords? Having this routine and daily thing. Playing songs daily? Just let it shine; let it shine!

Sorry. Sorry I just offended everyone. Sorry I just told you my deep feelings. Sorry that I just showed you how much I don't care about this whole guitar thing. Sorry I failed to play like a pro after six months. Sorry I'm blaming you. Sorry I'm being such a fake emotional freak every time I touch this topic. Sorry I'm failing and falling terribly. Sorry I always say I'm giving up but I just can't let go. Sorry you won't believe me and just think I'm crapping for fun and for a new guitar but it isn't true. Sorry you aren't that serious. Sorry if you're gonna tell me why I don't try. Sorry I believe in anyone but myself.

Sorry it's too late. Sorry I feel like crying everytime I hear a great guitar strumming pattern. Sorry I force myself to watch acoustic live performances by great musicians and then feel jealous. Sorry I pretend to sound normal when I say I'm jealous. Sorry I'm so, so, so jealous of musicians. Sorry this is such a confession. Sorry I wrote so many posts sounding like that. Sorry I feel secretly impressed. Sorry I believe that others will progress faster. Sorry I always want to hear you talk sense when scolding us. Sorry I try so hard but feel so lame. Sorry words make it look easy. Sorry there are so many sorries here.

I just feel sorry for myself. I rest my case.

I secretly hope to advance to the electric guitar. I secretly miss Taka. [: I secretly hope someone will change their minds about buying one for us. I secretly think I'm gonna take years to finish this. I secretly wish I'll get a Gibson.

This is so lame of me. Whose gonna read this or even comment? (:

Rant, confessions. All done. Hope you understand now. I'll try to get over it.

Sorry when I said I was giving up a few times when it actually killed me that I didn't practice for a day.

Hic. Had one too many chocolates, I think.