27Nov/08Off

Worst movie of 2008 – Twilight movie review

Twilight was hilarious.

I went with a couple of friends. The cinema was packed!

I've read all the books so don't come at me like I'm just a dumbo who can't rate good movies.

Only two words to describe the movie:

It SUCKED!

Yeah, the choice of characters were waaaaay off! I mean, Edward was so totally not the way I pictured him and Robert is not very good-looking I'm sorry to say. He constantly looked CONSTIPATED in the movie. What is with that? His facial expression was totally fake and unsuitable to the moods he was in. He kept smiling like a spaz. I don't remember him smiling like some kid who just got a lifetime supply of candy in the book. He was always stony-faced and hard to decipher. And the flying/running-like-the-wind scenes were so utterly fake. You could seriously imagine the harness and stuff attached to him. Plus, Edward doesn't fly or climb trees.

Fake graphics. The supposedly sparkling skin was just a boring effect which about 40% of the other movies use. And please wax your chest, Robert. He's supposed to be hairless except for his head so please shave and wax. ;D I think I'm not the only one who realized this. He even sweats! And could they stop zooming into his face?!

Bella. Goodness. How could Kristen be the perfect Bella? She's so manly. The way she acts and speaks. I mean, yeah in the book she's kinda like tomboy-ish but Kristen was too much. The prom dress and cardigan was a horrible match. Including the sneakers that she wore.

The script was SUPER CORNY and REPETITIVE. Everything they said was short and corny. How many times did Bella say, "I'm not scared of you.'"? I can't believe anyone who says defends the movie. It's just so cheesy.

The music sucked except for one or two songs which were agreeable.

The other characters:

Carlisle - looked like he smashed his face into a bowl of flour. His character stuck to the original one in the book. I liked how he was so fatherly and calm.
Esme - She looked slightly too old but she was the perfect Cullen mom, speech and emotions-wise.
Emmett - God, could they have chosen someone better? He is not cute, alright? With that military buzz cut. :/ He's supposed to look like a cuddly bear not an overweight military boy. I expected his Jeep to be like a monster truck but it was just a typical 4x4.
Rosalie - She is NOT pretty in the movie. Repeat, NOT. I regret to say that she wasn't even the figure 8 Stephenie Meyer described her as. She had a questionable butt size.
Alice - She's cute enough to be Alice.
Jasper - In need of a slight nose job. His hair was alright though. He hardly said three words at all.
Jessica - I pictured her as a little snob but she was cheerleader Barbie with an ample chest. :O
Mike - He was cute.
Angela - O-kay. She was nerdy alright but she was stick thin. What's with that?
Eric - Hmm..
Jacob - HA HA HA HA HA! EW! DISGUSTING LONG HAIR! RUINED MY IMAGE OF TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME JACOB. *eats out my own broken heart*
Charlie - Wow. He definitely looked like Chief Swan. ;D
Renee - Typical mom. Acceptable.
Laurent - I didn't expect him to look like Will.I.Am, I guess.
Victoria - She looks like Rosalie and her hair isn't even flame red. And what is she doing at the end of the movie? Some kind of sinister plot twist? Lame.
James - Um..I didn't imagine him so I guess this will have to do.

That's about it. The rest played minor parts which aren't even important.

Overall, the movie is baaad. My 10 bucks is gone - wasted on this boring/lame movie which I wouldn't have paid to watch if it hadn't been such a big thing. BLECH!!

The only few things that I liked were the gorgeous views of the La Push beach, the forest and the Cullens house.

And I'm sorry to say that Stephenie Meyer ruined my liking and addiction to her saga after I read Breaking Dawn. That book was just so wrong. It killed my interest just like that. Everything in BD was indigestible for me.

Conclusion :

Hyped up, overrated, sickly, boring, fake, trashy, unhealthy, cannot even be called fantasy or romance movie.

So sue me for speaking my own mind. It's a free world and I can say whatever I like.

My rating for Twilight : 1/10

Don't watch it if you know what's good for you.

Suckers.

Garbage. Double thumbs down.

BOO YOU, Twilight!

Edward, Alice, Jasper

Carlisle and Esme

images from google.

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Posted by tacosauce

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HelenaRiot
January 8th, 2009 - 04:58

Thank you! Finally someone who shares my opinion. I’m tired of the rose tinted way everyone’s been looking at this. It was terrible. I spent an awful lot of time laughing at a film which, technically, I should have been awing at. Where was the romance? Where was the atmosphere? It was badly scripted, badly acted (for the most part. Was it just me that felt like Charlie Swan’s character was the only one holding the burning wreckage together?) and so boring my friend and I considered walking out but didn’t because we paid money to see it. Kristen Stewart just looked completely bored throughout the entire thing. Pfft, she was better in Speak.

I liked the books. I even liked Breaking Dawn, although I did have to put it down and go punch a wall every time someone talked about how selfless and wonderful Bella was. It got old real fast. But this film wasn’t even CLOSE to the books. Kudos to you, my friend. This made me laugh out loud.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go convince my sister that it wasn’t her impression of that girl from Mamma Mia I was laughing at.
Rose
January 9th, 2009 - 22:02

wow. you certainly have a lot to say about how ugly the actors are. i agree with you that kristen stewart is a little masculine what with the voice and all but all round she did a good job. rob pattinson is gorgeous and nikki reed is so pretty! you know, instead of wasting your time typing up your annoying lies, you could have done something productive like, oh i don’t know, expanding your vocabulary? a lot of people put a lot of time and effort into this movie so the least you could do is say something even remotely nice about it!