Spuddy Buddies

the retarded lesson

Ever heard of that Kaiser Chiefs song called Never Miss A Beat? The verse goes like this - What did you learn today? I learned nothing. The lyrics said it all!

The Devil (or does Satan sound better? Whichever one.) didn't teach the parts of the guitar like the head, knobs, body, bridge, sound hole or whatever. He didn't even teach us how to tune the guitar! Isn't that like the main thing because you have to tune it everytime you pick it up? Yes, that classical guitar went out of tune the very next day. Oh my God. I personally think that tuning is the hardest part.

What did he teach?

The strings and positioning your fingers. "Try and remember the strings like that - elephant, gorilla, monkey, toilet, rubbish bin".. blah blah blah. I was like shut up. The one at guitar.about.com is much easier to remember - Every Adult Dog Growls, Barks and Eats. Hah. Beat that, NOOBIE.

He didn't even teach the damn frets! What the hell?! And that guitar I used was freaking filthy. I felt so disgusted. He only taught five ways of playing some idiotic notes which we had to play over and over and over again. He cheated us and said he was going out while we practise. Oh, yeah right! I can see you standing outside. We're not blind, ok?

Trying to act like some smarty pants. Everytime we made a mistake, he went, "See! See!" Actually calling us stupid newbies who don't care about what he says.

Then he played idiot guitar games. I found them very childish and stupid.

He can speak very... ROTTEN English. He told us that we must practise everyday. Keep practising everyday for a certain amount of time. Must not play on the day of the class itself. WHY CAN'T HE JUST SAY CONSISTANTLY? How did he say concentrate again? "Con-sen-trate." And the "tree" part which is very common around here. Tree = three, four = fo, five = fai, six = seeck. Right..

And about his not-teaching-us-anymore thing? Thank God. I expected him to start singing that Linkin Park song called Given Up. Haha.